Waiting

Today has been a long day for me.  I have spent it waiting for a call from the doctor's office with results from my latest blood tests.  I am not a very patient person so waiting is like pure torture for me.  I am hoping, though, with these last tests I will find some more answers to my messed up body.  For 3 years now I have been blaming myself for things that may have been out of my control.  I get angry with myself when I can't do the things I think I should be doing.  I have been to a couple of doctors and tried to find answers.  They didn't give me what I needed.  I did find my vitamin D deficiency, but the vitamins have not helped.  So last week I tried a 3rd doctor.  He hasn't given me any immediate answers but he did have more bloodwork done on different hormones hoping to find a reason behind all the differences I have been feeling in my body for the last 3 years.  They thought the results would be in today.  So far, no news.  I have paced and paced all day.  It is rainy today so we have been kept inside all day, except for a quick trip to the barn, which hasn't helped.  Thank goodness the house is pretty much void of chocolate otherwise I would've been sitting on the couch with sticky fingers and chocolate smears all around  my mouth, maybe even a little chocolate drool on my shirt!  As I said, patience is not my strongest virtue.  Never has been.  How funny that I have to teach a lesson on it in Reief Society in a couple weeks!   You think someone is trying to send me a message?   Anyways, I will continue to wait - I have no choice right?  Hopefully word will come soon so I can know the next steps to take...