I have been watching the news, reading articles, listening to stories and seeing pictures of all the things going on in the world lately. To say that I understand it all would be a false statement. It does make me heartsick though. I am not one that likes to see people hurting. I don't like confrontation, or hurt feelings or sadness. I don't like confusion or chaos. I do my best to comfort, show empathy and lift others when I can. I love to cheer for the underdog and see those who work hard succeed. I try to have an open mind and understand thins through others' perspectives. I'm not perfect at it and I never will be.
I am not going to address the things that are going on right now. There are some things I understand and there are some things I don't. There are some things that I agree with and there are some things that I absolutely don't agree with. I see positives and I see negatives. I am, however going to address the need to just be kind.
We are all facing things. Every single one of us. There is not anyone on this earth who is not facing something that isn't easy. And just because my trial isn't yours, doesn't mean that yours is less important. Just because my trial isn't as visible as your trial doesn't mean that mine doesn't count. Just because someone else may be going through something harder doesn't mean that you shouldn't get validation for what you are struggling with. Their hardship doesn't make your hardship easier or less important. And it doesn't mean that you don't have the right to say it's hard.
Like the seniors this year... Sure, there were kids at one point in time who had to leave school to go fight for their country. Was that hard? I imagine it was! Was is what they wanted or what they had planned for? I bet it wasn't. Does that mean that our kids this year don't have the right to mourn the loss of their senior year? No. It doesn't. Does it mean that they can't be sad or disappointed by how things turned out? No. Absolutely not. Does reminding them that some one else had it worse help them? I would say mostly, no. It doesn't. In fact, I think it can make things worse. Not only are they then trying to deal with very real emotions about having to miss out, but they are also not dealing with emotions of guilt for letting it affect them when others "had it worse."
What is hard for me may not be hard for you. What is hard for you may not be hard for me. It doesn't make it any less real though. And even if we are going through the exact same experience, it is going to affect us differently and I won't be able to completely understand everything you are feeling. For example, this last summer, my family moved from Montana to Nebraska. We all know what it feels like to move, leave behind friends and try to start over. However, we didn't all experience it on the same level. Makenna was getting ready for her senior year. She had just been voted student body president. She was a varsity starter for volleyball and basketball and had goals of going to state in cross country again. Zane left good friends and good medical facilities and doctors and a strong confidence in going to state in cross country again. Dillon left a starting spot on the varsity basketball team, another opportunity to go to state in cross country, and a football coach who already knew him. The list goes on. Every one of us left something different during this move. We all had to come here and try to find our place again and learn to be ok with the differences. So while we all knew what it was like to move and we could support and love each other, we couldn't know "exactly" how each other felt because we did not give up "exactly" the same things.
I have Crohns disease. I was diagnosed shortly before Zane was. I could empathize with him. I knew the annoyances that come from it, from having to change my diet, taking meds and being more aware of things. However, my experience with it has not been the same as his. Is he wrong for how he feels and deals with it? Am I wrong because I do it differently? No. We each have our own individual experiences that we bring. Neither of us is wrong. We can love and support each other, but we can't completely understand each other.
Some people have challenges that are more noticeable. Some have ones that we can't see. Dilly broke his arm during basketball one season. He had to play with a cast on. Everyone could see that he had a broken arm. As a result, people were a little more lenient on him. If he missed a pass or a shot, they knew it was because he was playing one handed. A kids who missed a pass or a play because his ADHD was going full force, may not get the same forgiveness because his challenge isn't as noticeable. However, both require patience and understanding. One is not better/worse than the other. It's just different. We can still love and support each other. We can still show empathy
We all deal with things differently too. Some people are more vocal about what they are going through. Talking about it and asking for help enables them process it better. Getting support from others helps them get through it. Others are quiet. Maybe they want help but don't know how to ask for it. Maybe they don't want help, just time. It doesn't make their challenge any less difficult. We can still love and support them even if we process things differently. We can still show empathy.
I guess my point in all of this is - there are so many people hurting and struggling today. Some of it is very noticeable. We see it on TV, social media, in the newspapers and on the streets. Some of it is not. Some happens behind closed doors, in private moments that no one knows about. Tears are shed, hearts are hurting, lives have been changed. We won't ever completely understand, but that doesn't mean that we sit and do nothing. We can love and support. We can encourage, uplift, and show empathy. We can be kind. We can listen. We can try to understand. We can recognize them for who they are - brothers and sisters, children of God. We all have something we are going through. Reach out, lift up, love.
