We teach our children that if you are going to start something you are going to finish it. It doesn't matter if you don't like it as much as you thought you would or if you don't like the coach. It doesn't matter if you end up playing rock number 3 in the play instead of having the lead role or if you get stuck with the white chess pieces instead of the black ones in the chess tournament. You finish and you finish doing the best that you can. You play such an amazing rock number 3 that the director wishes they would have put you as tree number 1.
We also teach our children that they need to be aware of their mental and emotional health and know when to walk away from something that is not healthy for them. Maybe they are stressed from classes and have been asked to join Speech - they need to be aware of how that will affect them and whether they should join or walk away. If there is someone that they are in contact with that is putting them down, making them feel less of a person or hurting them emotionally or physically - we teach them to stand up for themselves and walk away.
So what do you do when those two teachings collide and in order to stand up for yourself, you can't stay and be rock number 3 because horse number 2 keeps pushing you down the hill?
This is something that we have been dealing with in our house recently. It's been very hard and emotional. There's been a lot of frustration and tears. Then, once the decision was made, there was a load removed.
Makenna is a senior this year. She joined basketball this year excited to play and enjoy her last season. She worked hard, tried to always have a positive attitude and did her best to listen to the coach and do what was asked of her. However, because of different incidents, experiences and conversations, she began to feel tremendous pressure and anxiety. The pressure to be perfect was a lot of stress for a person to carry. Trying to be positive while others were not was hard. Practices and games brought anxiety and stress and things were no longer fun. She was emotionally and mentally maxed out and other things in her life were suffering as a result. She talked to those she trusted, she tried even harder to perform at her best and she spent a lot of time thinking about the situation. In the end, she decided that in order to stand up and feel centered in her life again, she was going to have to walk away from basketball. It was hard and she cried but she felt a huge weight lifted off her.
She talked to the coach and explained her reasons. Then she gave him her jersey and walked away. Since that decision, she has dealt with the girls talking behind her back, jumping to conclusions and saying things like "I would never be a quitter like her." It been hard and hurtful but she knows she did what was best for her at this time. They have not taken the time to find out why she made this decision, they have just made assumptions and turned it into lunchtime gossip. However, she is ok with it because she is confident in the decision she made.
I am proud of her for taking this very hard step. Handling emotions and emotional situations is something that Makenna has struggled with and worked very hard on through out her life. The fact that she was able to look at this situation, know what she needed and then be able to follow through with it shows a lot of maturity and growth on her part. I stand behind her 100% and I'm proud of the progress she has made in this area.
So, the answer to the questions above? I guess it depends on the situation and the person involved. Some can stay and continue to be rock number 3 and tuck and roll down the hill. Some need to walk away and find peace in another pasture.
Saturday, January 18, 2020
Saturday, January 4, 2020
It's Been a While
Looking back at my blog, it's been about a year and a half since I have last posted anything. I have started many times to write, but the things that were in my heart I was not able to post so I just stopped writing. Those things are still in my heart but I will try to keep them there while I update our life.
A lot has happened since July of 2018. I can't write it all down but I will try to hit the highlights. Fall of 2019 offered me the opportunity to coach JH/HS cross country. I loved it! I had 5 high school runners (four were mine) and all 5 made it to state. I had 3 JH runners (one was mine). One ended up injured so I finished the season with 2. It was so great to watch them all improve over the season and I loved getting to go to State and watch my 5 athletes do their thing! Along with cross country, Maddi and Makenna both played volleyball and Dillon and Zeke both played football. Zane chose to only do cross country and Olivia chose to do only volleyball. Dillon broke a floater bone in his hand and partially tore ligaments in his thumb on the last day of football practice. He had to be put in a cast. The next night he played in his last football game of the season and then headed to Missoula for State XC. He was in a lot of pain, but he ran well and got to spend the next 3 or 4 weeks in a cast. He got it off a week after basketball started.
After my diagnosis of Crohns and Celiac, we took Zane in and he was also diagnosed with Crohns in September. He was started on Remicade infusions and has done really well since then. He has gained about 30 pounds and feels much better.
Starting in October I took a full time para position at the school. I was blessed to work in the k-2nd grade room. I loved working with the little kids and with Mrs. J. I learned a lot during the year. Harrison is a great school and a great place. Maddison was inducted into NHS during the fall too. I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished.
After fall sports we went right into basketball season. All 6 kids played basketball and I was able to coach the JH girls team. I loved those girls! Again, watching them grow and improve was so amazing. Maddi, Makenna, Zane and Dillon all lettered in basketball and cross country. Dillon also lettered in football and the girls lettered in volleyball.
During the spring, Dillon went out for track. He ended up spending most of the season in a boot with a broken bone in his foot. He broke it during basketball but finished out the season. Then the doctor stuck him in a boot so he could heal. He was able to run in the last couple of meets. He made it to divisionals which was great considering he was out of shape and coming back from an injury. Zeke and Olivia also went out for track and I was able to coach the JH team. We had our challenges but it was a great season and all the athletes ended the season better than they started.
In May, Maddi graduated from high school. She was second in her class. Michael's parents and sister came out for it and we also had friends from SD come. It was hard to believe that we were at that point in life. Time sure goes quickly. Maddi, Zeke, Olivia and I also took a trip to SD in May to watch Maddi's class graduate. It was fun to be able to see old friends and visit with the people we had grown to love while we lived there. Made me a little homesick.
June brought more changes. Michael took a job in Nebraska so we loaded up and headed to Oshkosh. Maddi had decided to go to school in Dillon, Mt at Montana Western so she stayed in Montana with a coworker for the summer. It was hard to say goodbye to her and leave but we were proud of her for being ready to be on her own. Moving was hard. The kids had to leave behind good friends. We loved Montana - the beauty is indescribable and the people were wonderful. Michael's job wasn't that awesome though so I was excited for him to be in a better situation and for him to be able to spend more time with us.
Makenna left Oshkosh a few days after we got here and spent the summer in California with Michael's sister being a nanny for her little boy. She really enjoyed her time there and hopes she gets to go back this summer. The other kids spent the summer at the pool. We would get up in the morning and do workouts and then they would go swimming most every afternoon. We lived in a very small house for the first couple of months so it was nice to have to pool for them to go to. They also started going to workouts at the school. They were able to meet some of the other kids in town. Dillon went to a football camp and he and Zane played basketball in the summer league. Zane also got a job out at the feedlot. He would go to work with Michael around 6am every morning and work until 5ish. Then he would come home, run and go to workouts. He really grew up this summer.
In August, Maddi decided to switch schools (yay!) and go to Chadron State College in Chadron, NE. Michael and I drove to Montana and brought her back to Oshkosk. A week later, we loaded her up again and took her to college. It has been nice having her 2 hours away instead of 12. She was able to find a job on campus and has really enjoyed her year so far. She has had some challenges but has been able to work through them and come out on top. She switched dorms part way through the semester and that really helped things too. She made it on the Dean's list for the first semester and is ready to go back in a week and start her second semester.
The other kids were nervous for school to start. However, they adjusted really well. Dillon and Zeke played football. They both had a great year. Dillon's team was undefeated in the regular season but lost int he second round of playoffs. It was so fun to watch them play. Zeke and Zane ran cross country. Zeke took first or second in every single one of his races. Zane also ran well and cut over 3 minutes off his best time from the year before. He also qualified for State. I was able to go to Kearney to watch him run. I was so proud of him! Zane also joined FFA and had fun participating in that. Makenna and Olivia played volleyball. Makenna had a tough season but I was so proud of her positive attitude. Even though things didn't go as she had hoped, she hing in there, cheered on her teammates and kept a positive attitude. This year has been tough for her - it's hard to move to a new place for your senior year - but she has really grown up and handled things positively. Makenna also did the One Act play and was inducted into NHS.
A week after school started, we moved. This house has a lot more space and it was so nice to finally be able to unpack and settle in after spending the summer living out of boxes. It made the first week of school a little crazy but it was worth it!
This fall we also got to see my Aunt Pat and Uncle Dick. They were one their way home from Wyoming and stopped here to spend the night. It was so good to see them even if it was just for a couple of hours.
Now we are in the middle of basketball season. Makenna is on the varsity team. Zane and Dillon both play JV and varsity. Olivia and Zeke both play JH basketball. It's an adjustment learning to play for a new coach and with new teammates but they are all working hard and I am proud of them for working through the frustrations and showing up everyday with a positive attitude. It is teaching them life lessons that will carry them far beyond the high school basketball court.
In December I started a new job at the clinic here in town. It's just part time so that allows me to still be able to watch the kids do their thing. I have a lot to learn but I am enjoying it. Michael's job has given him so much more time at home. It has been so nice to be able to have him around more. He gets to watch the kids play in their games and he's home in the evenings with us. I have also been able to take pictures at the different sporting events for the local newspaper. I love photography and am grateful for this opportunity.
So... that's our life over the last 18 months. A lot of changes, a lot of goodbyes and new beginnings. I know there is some sadness for what was left behind, especially when things here get frustrating, but there have been blessings. Moving here, not having friends, has really brought the kids closer together. This summer all they had was each other and they learned to be good friends. Starting over in a new school again has also showed them that some things aren't as important as maybe they once thought. I won't lie, it has been tough, but I have seen them grow in ways that they wouldn't have had they not had these challenges. It's hard to watch them struggle, but it's good to see them change with the lessons that they learn.
A lot has happened since July of 2018. I can't write it all down but I will try to hit the highlights. Fall of 2019 offered me the opportunity to coach JH/HS cross country. I loved it! I had 5 high school runners (four were mine) and all 5 made it to state. I had 3 JH runners (one was mine). One ended up injured so I finished the season with 2. It was so great to watch them all improve over the season and I loved getting to go to State and watch my 5 athletes do their thing! Along with cross country, Maddi and Makenna both played volleyball and Dillon and Zeke both played football. Zane chose to only do cross country and Olivia chose to do only volleyball. Dillon broke a floater bone in his hand and partially tore ligaments in his thumb on the last day of football practice. He had to be put in a cast. The next night he played in his last football game of the season and then headed to Missoula for State XC. He was in a lot of pain, but he ran well and got to spend the next 3 or 4 weeks in a cast. He got it off a week after basketball started.
After my diagnosis of Crohns and Celiac, we took Zane in and he was also diagnosed with Crohns in September. He was started on Remicade infusions and has done really well since then. He has gained about 30 pounds and feels much better.
Starting in October I took a full time para position at the school. I was blessed to work in the k-2nd grade room. I loved working with the little kids and with Mrs. J. I learned a lot during the year. Harrison is a great school and a great place. Maddison was inducted into NHS during the fall too. I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished.
After fall sports we went right into basketball season. All 6 kids played basketball and I was able to coach the JH girls team. I loved those girls! Again, watching them grow and improve was so amazing. Maddi, Makenna, Zane and Dillon all lettered in basketball and cross country. Dillon also lettered in football and the girls lettered in volleyball.
During the spring, Dillon went out for track. He ended up spending most of the season in a boot with a broken bone in his foot. He broke it during basketball but finished out the season. Then the doctor stuck him in a boot so he could heal. He was able to run in the last couple of meets. He made it to divisionals which was great considering he was out of shape and coming back from an injury. Zeke and Olivia also went out for track and I was able to coach the JH team. We had our challenges but it was a great season and all the athletes ended the season better than they started.
In May, Maddi graduated from high school. She was second in her class. Michael's parents and sister came out for it and we also had friends from SD come. It was hard to believe that we were at that point in life. Time sure goes quickly. Maddi, Zeke, Olivia and I also took a trip to SD in May to watch Maddi's class graduate. It was fun to be able to see old friends and visit with the people we had grown to love while we lived there. Made me a little homesick.
June brought more changes. Michael took a job in Nebraska so we loaded up and headed to Oshkosh. Maddi had decided to go to school in Dillon, Mt at Montana Western so she stayed in Montana with a coworker for the summer. It was hard to say goodbye to her and leave but we were proud of her for being ready to be on her own. Moving was hard. The kids had to leave behind good friends. We loved Montana - the beauty is indescribable and the people were wonderful. Michael's job wasn't that awesome though so I was excited for him to be in a better situation and for him to be able to spend more time with us.
Makenna left Oshkosh a few days after we got here and spent the summer in California with Michael's sister being a nanny for her little boy. She really enjoyed her time there and hopes she gets to go back this summer. The other kids spent the summer at the pool. We would get up in the morning and do workouts and then they would go swimming most every afternoon. We lived in a very small house for the first couple of months so it was nice to have to pool for them to go to. They also started going to workouts at the school. They were able to meet some of the other kids in town. Dillon went to a football camp and he and Zane played basketball in the summer league. Zane also got a job out at the feedlot. He would go to work with Michael around 6am every morning and work until 5ish. Then he would come home, run and go to workouts. He really grew up this summer.
In August, Maddi decided to switch schools (yay!) and go to Chadron State College in Chadron, NE. Michael and I drove to Montana and brought her back to Oshkosk. A week later, we loaded her up again and took her to college. It has been nice having her 2 hours away instead of 12. She was able to find a job on campus and has really enjoyed her year so far. She has had some challenges but has been able to work through them and come out on top. She switched dorms part way through the semester and that really helped things too. She made it on the Dean's list for the first semester and is ready to go back in a week and start her second semester.
The other kids were nervous for school to start. However, they adjusted really well. Dillon and Zeke played football. They both had a great year. Dillon's team was undefeated in the regular season but lost int he second round of playoffs. It was so fun to watch them play. Zeke and Zane ran cross country. Zeke took first or second in every single one of his races. Zane also ran well and cut over 3 minutes off his best time from the year before. He also qualified for State. I was able to go to Kearney to watch him run. I was so proud of him! Zane also joined FFA and had fun participating in that. Makenna and Olivia played volleyball. Makenna had a tough season but I was so proud of her positive attitude. Even though things didn't go as she had hoped, she hing in there, cheered on her teammates and kept a positive attitude. This year has been tough for her - it's hard to move to a new place for your senior year - but she has really grown up and handled things positively. Makenna also did the One Act play and was inducted into NHS.
A week after school started, we moved. This house has a lot more space and it was so nice to finally be able to unpack and settle in after spending the summer living out of boxes. It made the first week of school a little crazy but it was worth it!
This fall we also got to see my Aunt Pat and Uncle Dick. They were one their way home from Wyoming and stopped here to spend the night. It was so good to see them even if it was just for a couple of hours.
Now we are in the middle of basketball season. Makenna is on the varsity team. Zane and Dillon both play JV and varsity. Olivia and Zeke both play JH basketball. It's an adjustment learning to play for a new coach and with new teammates but they are all working hard and I am proud of them for working through the frustrations and showing up everyday with a positive attitude. It is teaching them life lessons that will carry them far beyond the high school basketball court.
In December I started a new job at the clinic here in town. It's just part time so that allows me to still be able to watch the kids do their thing. I have a lot to learn but I am enjoying it. Michael's job has given him so much more time at home. It has been so nice to be able to have him around more. He gets to watch the kids play in their games and he's home in the evenings with us. I have also been able to take pictures at the different sporting events for the local newspaper. I love photography and am grateful for this opportunity.
So... that's our life over the last 18 months. A lot of changes, a lot of goodbyes and new beginnings. I know there is some sadness for what was left behind, especially when things here get frustrating, but there have been blessings. Moving here, not having friends, has really brought the kids closer together. This summer all they had was each other and they learned to be good friends. Starting over in a new school again has also showed them that some things aren't as important as maybe they once thought. I won't lie, it has been tough, but I have seen them grow in ways that they wouldn't have had they not had these challenges. It's hard to watch them struggle, but it's good to see them change with the lessons that they learn.
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