I'm Having a Headache!

This is Olivia as she was going to bed last night:

Olivia to Michael - Dad! The boys are giving me a headache!

Olivia to the boys - Boys, I can't talk because I am having a head ache. You can't talk either because I am still having a head ache!

Such a princess!

Early Morning

This morning I awoke from a strange dream in which I had given up some of my children for adoption.  The lady who adopted Dillon made him call her mom and me Emma.  When he would pass me on the street he would always wave and say "hi Emma" and would start crying.  I decided that I didn't want to put them up for adoption after all and took them back.  Strange and sad, I know.  I think it is a sign of the stress I am feeling right now.  This all happened at 2:45 this morning.  I never went back to sleep.  When the alarm went off at 6:45, I had already been up for 4 hours.  My mind is just crazy right now.  See, it hit me that we are only 2 months away from the end of the year.  That means, because of the changes here at the ranch, we have a lot to do before January.  We have to find a job and a place to live.  I have to pack an entire house trying to weed out anything and everything that is not absolutely necessary (which I am not good at).  I have to help 6 children say goodbye to friends again and help them adjust to another move and I have to deal with taking a step into the unknown and not let anyone know how scared I am about it.  During all of this we also have to celebrate Makenna's 9th birthday, Maddi's 10th birthday, Michael's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas.   Frustrated and overwhelmed are understatements of what I am feeling right now.  I know it will all come together, it always does, but that does not necessarily make the steps easier.  I think the kids are also feeling these emotions.  They know that Michael has been looking for a job.  They know that moving is a possibility and they are unsure what to do with it all.  They are wound up and I'm not sure how to ease their minds.  Dillon last night was talking about Christmas.  Somehow he got in his head that if Michael got a new job he would not be able to be home on Christmas day.  Dillon's hope was that Santa would know that and come early so Michael could share Christmas with us.  We reassured him that we would all be together on Christmas, but I know they each have their misconceptions of what is going on.  I also know that telling them this early, when we don't have clear answers yet, will not help the situation.  I hate that we have to do this again, but we don't have much of a choice.  All we can do is hope that what is in store for us will make up for what we are dealing with right now and that in the end we will be better off.  In the meantime, I deal with each day with strange dreams, ice cream, early mornings and diet Dr. Pepper!

Cake Pops

Today I decided to make cake pops with the kids.  I got the recipe from the website Bakerella.  The concept seemed easy enough and it looked fun.  It was not quite as easy as she made it look, but the kids did have fun and they tasted great! I don't know if I will ever do them again, but it gave us something to do this afternoon and now we have some yummy treats to eat over the weekend.

Conditional Offer

Last night Michael received a conditional offer for the conductor job he interviewed for earlier this week.  He now has forms to fill out, physicals to pass and other things to do before the offer becomes official.  That can take anywhere from 2 to 8 weeks they say.  They also advise not to turn in a resignation yet.  So Michael has begun the process.  We'll see how it goes.  In the meantime, we will still be looking for other opportunities in other places.  If nothing else comes up we will go with the railroad.  In January things here at the ranch will get worse.  Costs are increasing and wages are not.  We already struggle with what we are making now, we can't survive on less.  So whatever happens will happen before then.  Keep your fingers crossed and I will keep you informed!

School Lunch Chili

Just for the record, cleaning school lunch chili off of clothes is very similar to cleaning vomit off of clothes.  It has the same consistency and a similar smell.  It leaves the same kind of coating on the sink and you have to clean the same kind of chunks out of the drain.  How do I know?  Well, yesterday the kids had chili for lunch at school.  I guess when Zane was going to dump his tray, he bumped into a 4th grader and Zane got chili all down his shirt and jacket (inside and out).  Thankfully there was a teacher there to help him change his shirt.  They put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag for him to bring home and found him another shirt to wear the rest of the day.  Silly me, I had no idea HOW much chili had spilled on him so I left the clothes in the bag until this morning.  From what was all over Zane's clothes, I would say that the 4th grader did not like chili and had not eaten very much, if any of it!  I proceeded to wash out his shirt in the bathroom sink having to stop half way through to let the sink drain and empty it out.  Then I did the jacket having to do the same thing.  It was gross.  Afterwards I had to wash the residue off the sink and clean the drain again.  The fact that I knew it was not vomit did help a little but it was still gross.  What did I learn from this whole experience?  You're probably thinking "wash the clothes out right away."  No, what I learned was to keep them home from school next time they have chili for lunch.  It's just not worth the risk...

Treats from Japan

Today we got a wonderful box in the mail from Japan!  When I was a junior in high school I became good friends with an exchange student from there.  She recently joined facebook and found me.  Today I got a package from her filled with Japanese treats.  They are very interesting and some I could get addicted to.  There are soy sauce and stir fry flavored potato chips which are actually (despite the sound of it) very good.  There were cookies with chocolate and strawberry inside, also very good.  There were some caramels that I love and some taffy that has a sour center that my kids will love.  There was one bean flavored taffy, hmmm, not so much but very interesting.  She also sent a coin to each of my children.  They are to make into a necklace for good luck.   I am very excited for my kids to get home and try all the goodies.  They will think it is so cool to have these things from Japan!  Now we are going to get her family a package of American treats.  My kids will love picking out things for them.   I love little things that can brighten up an otherwise stressful day :)

On His Way Home

Michael is on his way home now.  He should get in about 1 am.  It has been a long day for both of us.  I have been up since 3 am unable to sleep.  He didn't sleep well either and then spent the day testing and interviewing.  He felt it all went well.  We should know something in a week or two.  Now comes the waiting and the decision making.  Even though the job has not been offered yet, we still have to sit down and discuss our options and weigh the pros and cons.  It will be a difficult decision and a life changing one.  I hope and pray that we can look past our own short sightedness and feel what the Lord is directing us to.  It is so much easier to stick with the known than the unknown.  Ever since we have had kids Michael has been easy access to them.  They haven't known anything different.  We could always run up to the barn or somewhere on the farm and find him.  We have always had horses and other animals to be around.  There have always been hay bales to climb on, big country yards to play in and dirt roads to race up and down.  I have grown to love being out of town.  Life in the country is good.  With this move we would be giving that up.  Our horses wouldn't be able to come with us, our house would be in town, Michael would no longer be at the barn.  Work on the railroad is all unknown too.  We don't know what it will be like and what it all entails.  We do know that it would give us the financial means that we need and provide us with excellent benefits and an opportunity to get on our feet and prepare for the future.  It is what we have been praying for.  Sometimes in life we are required to sacrifice some things in order to gain other things.  I guess now we just have to decide which is more important to us right now.  That will be the topic for the next little while.  It's on my mind now and I'm sure it's on Michael's too.  Right now though, I just want him to get home so we can both get some rest before the alarm tells us a new day is starting.

Interview Update

Well, Michael has called me a few times this morning.  There were about 60 people chosen out of 500 to come for the interviews.  There are 15 openings and the job starts on January 3rd.  When he last called he was about halfway through his aptitude test.  He said it was easy so I assume he is doing good on that.  After lunch they will begin the interviews.  Then he will head home.  We don't know when we will know if he got the job or not.  If he does get the job he will have to go back another time to have a physical and do some more testing.  Hopefully we can all go then and check out the town.  He has seen a little of the town.  It reminds him of the town he grew up in - just a small town with not a lot going on.  Anyways, that's the news so far.  We'll see how the rest of the day goes!

You Will Be So Sad, Huh?

Since Michael is out of town Olivia slept with me last night. This was our conversation as we went to sleep.

Olivia: I love sleeping with you all the nights Mommy.

Me: I love sleeping with you too, Lolly.

Olivia: You will be so sad when Daddy comes home, huh Mommy?

Me: Why will I be sad when Daddy comes home?

Olivia: Because you love sleeping with me! When Daddy comes home he has to sleep with you and you just get to think about sleeping with me so you will be sad!

Interview Time

Michael left this afternoon to head to his interview.  I really wanted to go too but couldn't.  He'll have just over a 7 hour drive to get there.  Tomorrow will be spent in testing and interviewing.  Then he will turn around and head home.  I hope he gets some good sleep so he doesn't get too tired driving home.  I also hope he gets to interview early so he doesn't have to leave too late.  He has to be back Wednesday morning to give a training here at the ranch.  It will be a quick trip, but hopefully a beneficial.