You Are An Inspiration

We all  have things that we wish were better about ourselves.  I could give you an endless list of all my flaws and all the things that I wish were different about myself.  I listen to these wonderful people that I love feel bad about themselves, doubt themselves and even become sad and discouraged.  When I listen to them talk, I don't see them the way that they see themselves.  I don't notice the extra pounds, the gray hairs, the scars, the forgetfulness, the supposed lack of patience or understanding, etc, etc, etc...  I see them and their beauty.  I see their hands and how they use them to help those around them.  I hear their voice speak words of encouragement and praise.  I see their eyes look at others with love and kindness.  I see their accomplishments in school, home, work, church, and community.

I notice how others interact and react to them and I know that they see the same thing I do.  They see love, kindness, intelligence, humility, light - things that make them beautiful.  Beauty from the inside, far outshines beauty from the outside.  It is amazing what love and kindness can do to a person.  It really does make a person more beautiful! 

A friend on Facebook put this quote on her status today and it touched me.   "Before you put yourself down, please consider everything you've accomplished to get to this point, every life you've touched, and every moment you've pushed beyond your fears. You are a champion. You are a fighter. You are are worthy of nothing less than the deepest love you have to share. You are an inspiration." -Scott Stabile

So many of my friends and loved ones have inspired me in ways that they will never know.  Their quiet strength as they go through their lives, strengthens me and helps me get through my tough times.  Their love and kindness affect me in ways that make me want to be kinder to others.  The service they give to me inspires me to go out and serve others.  They are champions - heroes in my life.

I am so grateful for the people in my life - those people that struggle just like me yet continue on with faith and love.  Those people who have touched my life and made it better.  Those people that are always reaching out and lifting up.  I hope that I can be the kind of person that can do to others what they have done to me.

Hearts

Today we made hearts out of clay.  72 to be exact.  The kids picked out the colors, swirled them together, rolled them out and cut out hearts.  Then we baked them for a few minutes to harden them.  I think they turned out really cute!

 

The whole time we were making them the kids wanted to know what they were for and why we were making them.  I waited to tell them because it was making them crazy and because I could :)

 

I got the idea from a blog I read (but I can't remember where).  A teacher used her left over sculpey clay and made hearts for her class.  It was around Valentine's Day.  Each of the kids got some hearts and they spent the next week or so sharing those hearts with people that they thought could use extra love.  I really liked the idea.  We try to teach our children to look around them and see people who need a smile or a helping hand.  We try to do the same.  Service is one of the best ways to lift others up and also to lift ourselves up.  When we are serving our hearts are filled with joy.  I loved the idea of leaving a heart at the scene of the "crime" so the person we served has something beautiful to remind them that they are loved.  So... I ordered some sculpey clay and we made hearts.

Tonight was our family night.  Makenna had the lesson and she, without knowing my plans for the hearts, gave a lesson on serving and setting a good example.  It was called "Being the First One on the Dance Floor."  It talked about how dances often begin with everyone standing around the edges for the first few songs.  Everyone wants to dance but no one wants to be the first one out there.  It isn't until that one brave soul decides that he is going out there that everyone follows and begins to enjoy the dance.  She shared examples of how kids have done that.  One group of girls decided for two weeks that they were going to smile at everyone they saw - including themselves.  They talked about how it spread from them smiling at others to everyone doing it.  Another group of kids got into geocaching.  Instead of leaving a trinket or toy at the site they left a scripture and their testimony of Jesus Christ with instructions for the next person to do the same.  I told them about a boy I read about that had been bullied after his father died.  He switched schools because of the bullying but decided that he was going to change things at his next school.  He started his first day by holding to door open for the other students and greeting them as they came into school.  At first the others thought it was weird but then they started looking forward to seeing him and they started doing things for others too.  The staff talked about how this one boy had made such a change in the entire school.  He was the first one out on the dance floor.  He set and example and others followed.  He served those around him and made a difference. 

We talked about things we could do at home and at school that would help others.  What could we do to be the first ones out on the dance floor?  Then I gave out the hearts.  The instructions - look for ways to serve and uplift, do it, and leave a heart letting them know that they are loved.  I hope that over the next few weeks hearts will be spread around the house and school and that with each heart that is given, our own hearts will be filled.

What a Week!

Monday morning started out very cold around 5:45am.  I went downstairs to do my workout and noticed it felt unusually cold!  I went out to our back room where we have our dishwasher, extra fridge, washer, dryer, and a bathroom.  Sometime during the night, the back door had blown open.  The floor was so cold it hurt my bare feet!  Later that morning before I left for school I tried to start a load of laundry.  It wouldn't work because the tubes going into the washer were frozen, of course.  I had kids running late, kids that couldn't find their band stuff, and I was trying to get all my stuff put together that neither Michael or I checked the pipes very closely to look for any damage.  When I got home from school that afternoon, Zane came running into the dining room saying that there was water spraying everywhere!  Yes, during our night time freeze of the back room, a pipe had busted and there was indeed water spraying everywhere.  It was spraying the wall and ceiling, running down the stairs and seeping through the floor into the basement.  I ran downstairs with the phone, called Michael and started searching for the water turnoff.  Eventually I found it and got it turned off.  What a mess!  I started trying to dry up the floor in the back while I waited for Michael to get home.  We found the split in the pipe.  Michael cut the bad section out and went and got what he needed to fix it.  I finished cleaning up the water on the floor.  We got it all fixed and cleaned up before bed that night.  The washer didn't get damaged - thank goodness!  There was no other damage done to the house either.  We considered ourselves quite lucky that nothing else happened! 

Tuesday I had a dentist appointment to get a couple of fillings done.  One was an old filling that needed to be redone.  When he got the filling all drilled out, we discovered (with a little pain) that the cavity had spread into the nerves.  My options - root canal or get it pulled.  I have lots of teeth :) so I decided to save myself $2000 and get it pulled.  He did a great job and I didn't feel any pain - until the next day of course!  Wednesday wasn't too bad.  I kept on ibuprofen.  It was a busy day and we didn't get home until after 9pm.  Wednesday night was a rough night.  I was freezing, couldn't get to sleep until after midnight and the motrin pm did not seem to take all the edge off the soreness.

Thursday I woke up feeling quite ill and only made it through a couple hours of school before I had to come home.  I slept for over 4 hours and could have slept longer if I didn't have to wake up and be a mom :)  I missed Maddi, Makenna and Zane play basketball. 

Friday finally arrived and I was feeling much better.  I made it through the day and headed out the door pretty close to 4pm.  Got in the van and it wouldn't start... So, I called Michael.  He came and jump started the van and we drove it to the Cenex to get a new battery.

Saturday was filled with basketball.  Michael had meetings all day so I was on my own.  The girls had games in Volga at 9 and 10.  The losers were supposed to play again at 11 and the winners at noon.  I told them they needed to win so I could get there in time to watch them play.  Zeke had his first game in White that morning at 10 so I wouldn't be able to get there for an 11am game.  Well, they both won and I was so excited that I would get to see them both play! Then I got a text saying that they had moved Makenna's game up to 11 instead of 12.  I ended up missing most of her game.  I did get to see the last little bit of it and I got to watch Maddi's game.  They all played hard and had fun.

The weather Sunday was beautiful and the kids were able to be outside for  hours enjoying the sunshine and warmer temps!  It was the perfect way to end the week and gear up for next week.

Zeke Turns 9!

On the 6th of this month we were able to celebrate our Zekie boy's birthday!  He was very excited for it to come and even more excited when we got a late start that day!  He took treats to his class and even left one on my desk - what a sweet boy :)

For supper he wanted chicken cordon bleu with rice and green beans and cherry pie for dessert.  That boy knows good food!

He got to continue his birthday week with no school Wednesday and Thursday and a late start Friday.  Friday after school he got to have a friend come home with him and spend the night. 

We are so thankful for Zeke!  He is certainly one of a kind.  He is helpful and kind, thoughtful and generous.  He is quirky and crazy and never sits still!  He loves to read and draw and play with legos and army guys.  He loves to be outside playing.  This year he has been able to play football and now he is in basketball.  He seems to love both.  He loves listening to music and break dancing.  I love the entertainment that the break dancing provides :)  We are so blessed to have him be able to share our lives with him.  We love you, Zekie boy!

New Year, New Word

At the beginning of the year last year we all picked out a word that we wanted to focus on and work on.  I was amazed at the words that my kids came up with and how much each word fit them.  During our family scripture study throughout the year we looked up scriptures that had to do with each of their words.  We also tried to find stories or examples of instances where others used those words.  We tried to point out examples from our own lives when those words came into play and blessed us.  Last week we talked about our words and what was learned throughout the year because of our focus on that word.  Again, I was surprised by what they learned.  Of course, learning took place on both ends.  Sometimes the lesson came from using that word.  Other times it came from not using the word.  Some implemented the idea more than others so they were able to learn more. 

I asked everyone last Sunday to make this last week a time to think, ponder and pray about their next word.  I do believe that prayer is an important part of this process.  Heavenly Father knows us and loves us.  He knows our strengths, our weaknesses and our potential.  He wants us to grow and reach that potential.  He is interested in our everyday lives.  The decisions we make in our everyday life are what brings us closer to or farther away from Him.  If we petition Him, He will help us determine the things we need to draw closer to Him - even in the choosing of a word.

Today we shared our word with each other, why we chose that word and what we will do to remember that word.  Listening to everyone share their word, my testimony of the fact that Heavenly Father is interested in us, was strengthened.  I did not give any of them any examples of words, no hints as to what would be a good idea or anything else.  The words they came up with came from within themselves.  I do believe that if each individual focuses on their word this year their lives will be blessed and they will change in amazing ways.  I do believe that God was there, helping them and prompting them.  I believe that He will continue to be there to help them and prompt them with their words - that includes me with my word.

Maddi - her word is Believe.  Learning to believe in herself and continuing to learn to believe and trust in her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Makenna - her word is Integrity.  Learning to be honest in all her dealings.  Learning to be a doer of the Word and not just a sayer.

Zane - his word is Work.  He wants to learn to do the work and not be ok with just sitting back and letting everyone else do it.

Dillon - his word is Selfless (he is the most selfless of everyone in the family).  He knows that sometimes he thinks about just himself and he wants to remember to think of others and their needs.

Zeke - his word is Strength.  He wants strength to work hard in his sports and school work.  He also wants strength to stand up and be himself and not do something just because some one else is.

Olivia - her word is Kindness.  She wants to learn to be kind.  She knows that sometimes she can be stubborn with her friends and she needs to be right.  She wants to learn to be kind instead.

Michael - his word is Patience.  He felt it was something he needed to work on.

Me - my word is Perseverance.  I really need this!  My first thought was endurance.  That just meant hanging in there until the end.  Perseverance was the same as endurance but it talked about having grace.  To me that means hanging in there with a good attitude and humility. 

So, we begin our new year with new words and new focus.  I hope that we will all be able to find truth and knowledge through these words.  I hope that we will have the ability to remember these words and use them, even when it is hard.  I know our lives will be blessed as we focus and use them.  May we have the Strength, Patience, Perseverance and Integrity to Work hard, be Selfless, treat others with Kindness and Believe throughout 2015!

Catch Up and Gratitude

It has been a long time since I posted!  It has been so busy at our house.  So I will play a little catch up.

We did get moved.  We were all moved in by November 1st.  It has been so nice having all this extra space to move around in.  The kids are loving their rooms and all the outside space to roam and explore.  We are mostly unpacked and settled in.  There are still a few remaining boxes here and there.  It was a whirlwind weekend with moving, Halloween and trying to get our old house ready for our renters that showed up the evening of the 1st.  We got it all done though!

Along the way we have celebrate 3 birthdays.  Makenna turned 13 on the 15th.  She got to have a couple of friends over to help her celebrate.

Six days later Maddi celebrated her 14th birthday.  Can't believe she is old enough to drive!  Not that I am going to let her anytime soon :)

Three days after that Michael celebrated his big four 0!  He's hoping to retire soon and get senior citizen discounts. 

We got to spend Thanksgiving together and with friends.  We had the missionaries from our church come over and eat with us.  It was nice to have them in our home.  Then we had some friends come over for dessert that night.  It was a nice day.  The next day the kids and I went Black Friday shopping.  We had fun getting out and seeing all the things in the stores.  That weekend we also went to the lighted parade in Hendricks and enjoyed some of the festivities there.

We got the house decorated for Christmas.  I love sitting by the fire place in the evenings with the logs crackling and the Christmas lights on. I love this time of year!

 Basketball season is in full swing now (another reason I love this time of year).  The five oldest are playing.  Dillon has already had several games with another one tomorrow.  Maddi and Makenna play their first game next week.  I love getting to go watch them play!

Life is good.  Last week I had to speak in church about gratitude.  It made me think a lot about all the blessings we have.  There have been things lately that have been discouraging me and having to focus on gratitude really helped me to see all the good things I have.  It didn't take away the things that are discouraging but it did give me a minute to pause and see all the positive, wonderful things in my life.  It reminded me that I am not alone in this.  I have a husband who is right by my side.  I have friends and family who support me and help me.  Most of all, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is always there no matter what.  He knows me and my situation.  He knows my needs and my desires.  He will bless me and take care of me.  Matthew 6:28-33  "And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:  And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?  Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?   (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.   But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

If I do my best then God will take care of me.  It will not always be easy, but it will all be ok.  If I acknowledge His hand in my life and thank Him for all the blessings that He gives me daily, then He will continue to bless me.  Doing this will bring me closer to Him.  Thomas S. Monson said, "

My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."  Gratitude will help drown out the negative and fill our lives with the positive.  Our eyes will be open to all that we have, our hearts will overflow with His Spirit and we will feel heaven at our fingertips. 

20 Days and Counting!

Let the countdown begin!  We have 20 days before we get to move.  Right now our current house is a big, crazy mess full of boxes, kids, homework, school bags and who knows what else.  It drives me crazy but it will have to get worse before it gets better :) 

We are very excited for the opportunity to move.  We feel very blessed.  This just kind of fell in our laps and, while there has been a few bumps and frustrations, everything is falling into place for us. 

20 days may seem like plenty of time but I am feeling the pressure to get it all done!  During that time we have school, parent-teacher conferences, two volleyball tournaments, a cross country meet or two, gymnastics, church activities, scouts, and long harvest hours.  We also have to finish our current bathroom, paint the living room, clean carpets and do a few other upkeep things so our house will be ready to rent as soon as we are out.  My hours are limited and few.  My stress is slowly climbing but we will get it all done I am sure!  I was very happy to hear that they will be cleaning our new house for us so I won't have to worry about that! 

Even though our current state is making my head spin, I look forward to all that lies ahead.  I am excited to get moved in and settled - especially since it will be right before the holidays start.  Moving back to this area has been a huge blessing to our family. Some of the blessings we knew would be here, but there have been so many others that we didn't expect.  This is another one of those and we are excited to continue building our lives here.

Spinning!

My head... My head is spinning faster than I can keep up with!  I haven't even had time to let things sink in.  So much is going on right now.  My days start at 6am.  The kids join my day at 6:30am.  We leave for school about 7:25.  My day consists of 26 first graders needing to go to the bathroom, sharpen their pencils and tell me about everything that pops into their heads - all at once!  While I love every single one of them, they do make my head spin faster at times!  By 3:30 all my first graders are gone and I spend the next little while trying to regroup and get ready for the next day.  My evenings are filled with football practices, cross country meets, volleyball games, church, and the nightly routines of homework, bathes, drum practicing and eating (several times because they are always hungry).  Three out of my five school days, I don't get home until after 7pm.  We put in some long hours on the courts, fields and roads!

I don't think I have really sat down and let Zeke sink in.  Today they educated his class on Tourette's.  I was told it went well and that the kids were really accepting and even shared some of their own little quirks, habits and anxieties.  I was nervous for him all day and it was such a relief to hear that it was all ok.  His tics have been worse lately.  I know that will calm down as all this fades back into the background but today it was front and center.  I knew I didn't need to be in there when they were telling the class about it, but I so wanted to sit outside the door and listen.  It is just another step into our new reality for him.  I am again grateful for an amazing teacher and counselor who have handled this so well. 

I have also been sick (thank you Makenna) for the last 3 or 4 days so that adds to my exhaustion and lack of patience.  It makes the days a little longer than they would normally be :)  Nyquil is my new best friend at night and Diet Dr. Pepper is my friend during the day.

Then we had to throw in moving.  While it is a huge blessing that I am very grateful for, the thought of trying to pack and do repairs on the house is a little overwhelming.  I am glad we have until the first of November but I know that will come quicker than I think! 

In reality, despite all the craziness that is going on, life is good.  We are being blessed in ways we didn't expect,  things will get done, and in four more weeks I will get to sleep in on Saturday! 

A Diagnosis

What a week!  During the middle of the day Monday I got promoted to first grade teacher when the real first grade teacher decided it was time for her to have her baby!  Neither one of us were expecting for that to happen so we were taken by surprise.  That was the start to a whirlwind week!  Monday night we tried to get the house cleaned, the kids packed and everything ready to go Tuesday.  The school day went by fast as I tried to teach and prepare for a sub the next day.  After school the kids went with their temporary families and Michael, Zeke and I headed off to Rochester.  Maddi had a cross country meet that afternoon that I had to miss and Makenna had a volleyball match.  I would have loved to cheer them both on in person but there was no way to make it happen.  We got to the hotel around 10pm.  Zeke finally wound down around 11pm and we went to bed.  I did not sleep well and we were all up at 5 the next morning getting ready for the day.

Our appointment was at 7:30 but we had to leave the hotel at 6am so we could get there on time.  I could tell Zeke was nervous.  On the shuttle ride over he snuggled up to Michael and just looked out the window the closer we got to Mayo.

We got there a little before 7 and got all checked in and waited. 

The appointment lasted a little over an hour.  I really felt comfortable with the doctor and what he was telling us.  He did say that Zeke does meet all the criteria for Tourette's Syndrome.  There is no specific test or anything that you can take, you just have to go off observations and documentations.  Zeke did well at first kind of suppressing his tics but by the time we were done he was not able to hold them in.  The doctor said he was glad he was able to observe him doing the tics because that just confirmed even more the diagnosis he gave.  The doctor also confirmed that Zeke has ADHD.

After the appointment we had some blood work done to check his iron levels.  He does not sleep well and the doctor said low iron can affect sleep.  Then he wanted us to see a psychologist that works a lot with kids who have Tourette's and these other disorders.  We were able to get an appointment at 3 that afternoon.

It was a very long day of waiting.  Zeke had a really hard time.  He had a lot of tics and noises and couldn't stay still and focused.  There was not a lot to do there so it was quite boring for all of us! We were very glad when we were able to get back on the shuttle and get to our car! 

We got home around 9 that night.  We are so thankful for all the people that helped with our kids.  They all had a place to stay Tuesday night (and Wednesday night for Olivia) and then when we found out we would be late Wednesday night we had a friend bring in supper to the kids and she even did my dishes!  Thank you Pam!

The rest of the week was busy and crazy!  Thursday I tried to catch back up on subbing and get things ready for Friday.  Maddi had another cross country meet that I had to miss and Makenna had another volleyball game that I had to miss.  I did get to see the boys play in their football game Thursday.  I am very glad we have nothing to do and no where to go tonight!

So, how do I feel about all of this?  To be honest, I don't know.  I haven't really had time to let it all sink in, yet all it did was confirm what we already suspected.  All it did was take away the false hope that I was just imagining things and that I would wake up and it would all be gone.  It created permanence to the situation.  It is sad, I will admit.  I know there are other kids and families dealing with much worse.  At least Zeke is healthy and strong.  But, it is still something that we have to learn to deal with and accept.  We have to realize that this is life now and learn to deal with all the things that will go along with Tourette's and ADHD. 

I am grateful we found answers.  I am grateful for the kindness we received at Mayo.  I am grateful for the friends we have that helped us get there and back.  I am grateful for an awesome school that is totally supportive of all the kids that go there.  I am grateful for amazing teachers and staff that will do all they can to help Zeke and make his school experience successful.  I am very grateful to his counselor.  She is amazing!  I don't think she will ever know how much she has helped me, Michael and Zeke.  She has gone way above and beyond her call of duty.  This is the second time she has had such an impact on our family and we are very blessed because of her.

As I stated in an earlier post, I am most grateful for the knowledge I have that this is not forever.  This life will be full of trials and hardships and uncomfortable things, but it is not forever.  Someday the things that ail us here will be taken from us.  Someday the disabilities and illnesses that we endure will be gone and we will be made whole.  Because of Jesus Christ we will live again and we will be perfected in Him - physically, emotionally and spiritually.  As I listen to Zeke tic and see him struggle to control himself, I am very grateful.

Appointment is Set

This morning we faxed off our information about Zeke to the Mayo Clinic.  I was not expecting to hear anything back for a little while.  However, sometime during my run this afternoon they called and left a message.  I called them back and we have an appointment scheduled for next Wednesday at 7:30 in the morning.  We are in the process now of pawning all our kids off to people so we can go up Tuesday night and spend the night since our appointment is so early in the morning.  I am glad that we heard back so quickly.  I am nervous too.  I know it will be ok and I am thankful that we will be (hopefully) getting some answers soon.  I am grateful to the friends who are taking my children into their homes on a school night and taking care of them for the day.  I am also grateful to all our friends and family that have said so many prayers on our behalf and have offered so many words of support and understanding.  I am especially grateful to Zeke's teacher and the school counselor.  They have done so much to help Zeke ease into this year and to help me as I try to understand it all.  We are very blessed.