Day 2: Closer to Christ

Question: Am I seeking Christ's help?

Read: Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Jacob 4:7  Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things.
Ether 12:27  And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Ponder: Am I seeking the Lord's help in all I think and do?  Do I pray enough?  Do I pray with integrity?  How can He help me overcome my weaknesses?

Spend half an hour each day with the Lord, and you will spend eternity with Him

- Stephen R. Covey

 

Today there is a lot to think about!  Today's scripture in Proverbs is one of my favorites.  So is the one in Ether.  Those are scriptures that come to my mind often when I feel inadequate in what I am doing.  And let me tell you, I feel inadequate quite often!

Growing up I was always taught to pray.  I said my personal prayers morning and night and then we had family prayers morning and night.  I do the same with my family now.  I always knew that Heavenly Father would hear and answer my prayers.  As a missionary in Ireland, prayer was an important part of the day.  We would pray to touch people's hearts and to be led to those who were seeking Christ in their lives.  We would pray for strength and the spirit.  However, once I became a mother, prayer took on a whole new meaning for me.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's because I felt huge responsibility.  Here I was, with six children of God, responsible for their well being and their spiritual growth.  It was my job to teach them and raise them up so that they would learn what they needed to know to be good people and to return to their Father in Heaven.  Maybe it was because being a mother some how has the ability to bring all my weaknesses to the fore front for all to see.  I'm not sure why, but for the last 12, almost 13 years, my prayers have been different.

Do I pray enough?  I doubt it.  I know there are many times when I should have stopped and said a prayer in my heart to help me handle a situation differently and I didn't do it.  Is it something I am working on?  Constantly.  Do I pray with integrity?  I don't know... I try to.  I try to make sure that my prayers and intentions are honest and in line with what I know to be right.  I will be honest though.  Sometimes I have to check and recheck my intentions.  Am I praying for something because it is right and best or because it is what I want and am hoping that God will go along with it and make it be the right thing for me because I want it so badly!  Does that make sense?  Am I seeking the Lord's help to make my weaknesses become strong or am I trying to just skip the whole weakness and growing thing and go straight to the being strong part of it?

Another area that I fall short in is praying for help.  I think I can or should do it all myself.  I don't have to though!  Heavenly Father has promised us His help!  We have to do our part, but He will help us the rest of the way.  That is for all areas of life - not just spiritual things.  Maddi ran cross country this year.  She worked hard.  She ran all summer, went to every practice and ran in every meet.  She was dedicated and strong.  Towards the end of the season though she was tired.  She was a little nervous learning to run varsity - that is a completely different kind of race than JV.  She seemed to lose a little of that confidence in her ability.  Before her region meet, we talked to her about what she had done to get to this point.  We told her that she had the right to pray and ask for Heavenly Father's help.  She had done her part.  She had worked hard. He would step in and give her courage and strength to run her best.  She did and He did.  She ran an excellent race and I could see on her face that she was running with confidence again.  Did she win? No.  Did she make it to state?  No. Did she do her best?  Yes.  Was she proud of herself?  Yes.  Was I proud of her?  Of course and for more than one reason.  I was proud of her efforts during the season, but I was also proud of her faith.  She had the faith to ask for help.  She had the faith that her prayers would be answered and she had the faith to get out there and do it.  He will give us what we need.  His grace is sufficient for our needs.  He will make our weaknesses become strong.  All we need to do is pray and do our best.


Day 1: Closer to Christ

At church yesterday we were given the opportunity to participate in a 22 day challenge called Closer to Christ.  Each day there is a question, some scriptures to read and another question to ponder through out the day.  It is suggested that we do it in the mornings so that we can ponder during the day.  If our schedule doesn't allow morning study then they suggested that we read at night and then use the next day to ponder what we read.  They gave the challenge to the youth but then extended it to any adult that would like to participate.  I decided I would. Then I decided that I would blog each day because writing helps me get my thoughts out and in order and some times helps me see things more clearly.  So here is Day 1:

Question: How can I follow in Christ's steps?

Read: 1 Peter 2:21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
Abraham 1:2  And, finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same; having been myself a follower of righteousness, desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers.
Moroni 7:48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

Ponder: How can I follow in Christ's steps today? In all my decisions I will ask:"What would Christ do?"

Do those who know you,

But don't know Christ,

Want to know Christ,

Because they know you?

 

This is tough. It is so easy to get caught up in the day and the moment that we forget to stop and see where we are and what we are doing.  Yesterday Zane was out playing with some of the neighbor kids.  They had found some one's junk pit and had hauled junk to the bushes to make a fort.  They had chairs, windows, an old TV, a toaster, all sorts of things to make their fort.  It was quite creative and they had a lot of fun building it.  Then in the midst of their fun they decided to break the glass.  Caught up in the moment, no one stopped to think that maybe that was something they shouldn't do.  They all laughed and even though not everyone participated in the actual breaking of the glass, they were all guilty by association.  Later that day Michael took the dogs out for a walk and went by the fort to see what they had built.  He found shattered glass all over the place.  It was actually quite dangerous. We called Zane and after a little prodding found out what had happened.  We asked him why he didn't stand up and say not to do that when he knew it was wrong.  His answer, "I don't know."  Well, we called the boys and got everything cleaned up, no harm done.  Boys will be boys :)

 

My point in telling this story is that how often do we get caught up in the moment only to realize later that maybe it wasn't them best thing to be doing?  When questioned why, either by some one else or our self, how often do we say, "I don't know"?  It is hard to constantly check ourselves to see if we are in line with the Savior.  After all, we are imperfect human beings.  We make mistakes.  That's why Christ came in the first place right?  However, there are things that we can do to become better.  The first is to pray.  We can pray for strength and guidance.  We can pray for His Spirit to be with us to lead us in the right direction.  We are promised that He will always be with us if we but ask.  Second, we need that desire.  We have to want to do right.  Really want to. We have to let that desire motivate us.  We also have to know Christ.  How can we follow in His footsteps if we don't know Him? 

 

President Thomas S. Monson gave this advice: "seek heavenly guidance one day at a time. Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Each of us can be true for just one day—and then one more and then one more after that—until we’ve lived a lifetime guided by the Spirit, a lifetime close to the Lord, a lifetime of good deeds and righteousness."

 

I heard that in a talk he gave last year and I refer to it often.  If I just take one step at a time in the right direction and not worry about anything else, then I can make it.  To follow in Christ's footsteps we just have to take one step at a time.  He has shown us the way to go and He will be there with us as we try to follow the path He laid out for us.

Deubrook Nation

This post will be an "Ode to Deubrook" kind of post :)  Last fall (2012) we made the decision to enroll our six children in the Deubrook School system.  After looking at the different options we felt this would be the best place for our kids to go.  It was hard.  We lost friendships.  Maddi lost the opportunity to go to school with her best friend (something she had been looking forward to since we first started talking about moving back to the area).  Now we are in our second year at Deubrook and all I can say is that I am so glad we made that hard choice.  It has been the best thing for our children!  I am not trying to say anything against any other school, but for our kids this was the best thing.  Last year and this year my kids have been quite involved in sports, newspaper, choir, band, student council, etc.  It has been so fun to watch them!  It has also been so neat to see how the kids and the staff work.  I have also been quite involved at the school.  I sub and I try to go a few times a year to visit the classrooms and do something fun with them.  I have really had a chance to get to know everyone at the school and I am impressed.

We have been a part of five school districts and I have never seen a school like this.  Teacher meetings are started with a prayer at the beginning of the school year.  Teachers love and support each other.  I can go to any of the classrooms in the elementary school and I could ask any of the teachers for help and they would do their best to give me the help I needed.  They would pray for me and even with me if I asked.  They get together outside of school too and build true friendships.  And they include me and I am just a substitute teacher.  I have sat in on teachers' meetings and listened to their true concern for their students and seen the time and effort they put in to their lessons.

Maddison has moved to the jr. high/high school this year.  She has been running cross country with several of her friends and classmates.  They all support and help each other.  If they aren't running, they are cheering on who ever is.  Before each race, they huddle and pray together.  At the end of the race they are there to congratulate.  They work hard and are kind to each other.  The older kids include the younger ones and encourage them and set wonderful examples for them.

I know it's not perfect.  No school system is.  It has it's fair share of problems and it always will, but they always seem to rise above it and continue forward.  Today I was impressed yet again.  Maddi had a cross country meet.  She ran varsity along with three other 7th graders and an 8th grader.  Those girls got out there (some of them had only run varsity one other time and some had never run varsity) and they ran with heart and determination.  Our little jr. high girls took 1st place for the meet!  It was so exciting for them.  I know all the kids get out there and do their best and I know a lot of people feel the same way about their school, but I was still so proud!  I watch them practice, I have been to every meet but one.  I have watched them improve and get stronger.  I have watched them cheer each other on, even if they do as well as they had hoped. 

Our school has good kids and good staff.  My kids absolutely love it and I do too.  I was afraid of losing friends by switching but instead I found even more friends.  I was afraid my kids would struggle with another change but they were swept right in and welcomed with open arms.  So, to all those who make up the Deubrook Nation - thank you for all that you do and all that you are!  My family has been blessed by being a part of you!

Volleyball

Makenna has been playing 6th grade volleyball this fall.  She has really been enjoying it!  It is her second year playing and she has really caught on to the game.  I love going to watch her and her teammates play.  They always have fun and find something to smile about even if the game is not going as well as they would have hoped :)

Makenna has been learning her overhand serve.  She has gotten it over the net a few times but in the meantime she uses an underhand serve during the matches.  When she gets in her groove she can serve over and over again without ever sending it out of bounds!

She also learning to dive for the ball and during her last game she had some pretty good and frequent contact with the floor!  My favorite move consisted of her somehow ending up on the floor on her knees with her back to the net and she still managed to get the ball over the net!



Kenna's the one on the floor :) #15.  It's been fun watching her learn and improve over the season.  They have one more match and then tournaments.  One of the blessings of being a mostly stay-at-home mom is being able to go to all my kids' events and cheer them on.  I love it!

Football

Zane and Dillon have been playing football again this year.  Zane is on the 5th and 6th grade team.  Michael is helping to coach that team. 

 Dillon plays on the 3rd and 4th grade team.

I have only gotten to go to one games o far.  Dillon has four games and Zane has six.  Dillon has one left and Zane has two.  They have really had a fun season and worked hard.  Zane has made some great tackles and a touchdown or two.  Dillon has made at least four touchdowns. 

 This is Dillon running in for one of his touchdowns.  That is one of his best friends blocking for him.

This is Zane running in for a touchdown.  He had to out run a lot of guys to get there.  Thank goodness for a few good blocks from his teammates to help him on his run!

I love watching them play and get excited about the game.  It will be fun to watch them grow up with these boys and see what their team can do! 

Cross Country

Maddi joined the cross country team this year and has done awesome!! She started out JV and took first in her first race.  She was so excited!

Each time she ran she cut more time off her best and she has really enjoyed running with the team.  There are seven 7th graders out for cross country this year and they all seem to have a lot of fun together.  They are so good at cheering each other on and showing support.  I love to watch them run and interact with each other.

 

This last week she ran her first 4000m race (usually JV runs 3000m) and she took another first!  She was nervous to run the extra distance because she had never done that in a race and wasn't sure what pace to go.  I think she picked the right pace!

 

Yesterday the coach moved her up to varsity along with one of the other 7th graders that has been running up front with Maddi.  They ran their first varsity race and did well.  Maddi took 13th. I did not get to go watch but I am so proud of her for doing her best even though she was tired from the race the day before.  All three varsity runners placed in the top 20.





Now she has a few days of recoup before her next race.  Then it is on to regions!  I have loved watching her run this year!  I love watching her get stronger - not just physically but mentally too.  She has learned to run hard at every race.  She has learned to push even when she is tired and get to the finish line with nothing left to give.  She has learned that she is better than she thought she was and I have loved watching her confidence grow.  She has learned that hard work pays off.  She has learned to cheer on a teammate even if that teammate beats her in a race.  She has learned to use her arms :) She has learned respect for her body.  I hear her making choices on things to eat and drink as she decides which would be healthier for her.  She has learned to be a positive part of a team that builds up each other and pushes each other to do better.  I hope that as she continues through the last few weeks of this season and moves on to the next sport that she will carry this all with her and always strive to be the best that she can be!

A Confident Princess

For the last 6 weeks I have been teaching PE.  I have really loved being able to be in the school and get to know all the kids and teachers better.  I have also loved being able to see my kids in their school environment.  I have learned things about all of them and their classmates as I've observed them in different situations.  Growing up I was very shy and had low self esteem and zero confidence.  That is something that I have tried to change with my kids.  I try to help them feel good about themselves so that they won't have to go through a lot of the things that I went through because of how I felt about myself.

Olivia is very much a social butterfly.  She loves to talk and keeps up on all the latest with everyone!  She is a total fashionista.  She loves clothes and shoes, make up and jewelry.  She loves to have her friends with her and gets upset when she feels like they are leaving her out.

Today in PE we had a free day since it was my last day.  The first graders got to play with jump ropes, hula hoops and scooters.  Olivia was one of the first in line to choose and she chose jump ropes.  As the rest of the class went through most of her friends chose the scooters.  I watched to see what she would do, thinking that she would change and go with her friends even though she wanted to jump rope.  I was so happy to see that she didn't switch!  She wanted to jump rope and she was ok doing it by herself while her friends were doing something else.  As a mom, it made me so thankful that she was confident enough in herself to play by herself instead of having to follow the crowd so she wouldn't be alone.  When she was done jump roping she played with the hula hoop.  Some of her friends joined her.  By the end of the class they were all on the scooters together having fun, but I was so glad that she went when she wanted to not when everyone else did.  I hope that as she gets older she will continue to have that self confidence and know that it's ok to not always have to do what every one else is doing.

There Isn't A Card In That One!

Thursday after school there was a baby shower for the PE teacher that I have been doing the long term subbing for this year.  We were all so excited to get to see her cute little baby boy, watch her open fun presents and eat really good food.  When I walked into the office to put my gift on the table I noticed all the pretty packages, fluffy tissue paper and cards.  I looked at my gift and very carefully rearranged a few gifts and stuck mine in the back so it wasn't as noticeable.

I'm not sure what all happened Thursday morning.  It's all kind of a blur.  All I know is that all of a sudden it was 7:30 and time to go. It was pouring rain outside.  We opened the door and all ran as fast as we could to the van trying to keep everything dry as we piled in and shut the doors.

Well, some things survive rain better than others.  Tissue paper is one of those things that does NOT survive rain!  By the time I got the gift from the house to the car and then from the car to the school, well, let's just say - it had seen better days.  The tissue paper was all crushed instead of fluffy from being shoved in my bag in hopes to keep it dry as I ran to and from.  The bag did not keep it dry so it also got kind of wilted looking.  I tried to fluff it up but it didn't really work.  I didn't notice how sad it was until I sat it next to the other packages that seemed to have not come through the same rain storm I had!  Then I remembered I also had not put a card in there.  No big deal right?  Wrong, it would just bring more attention to the sad little bag.  They would need to know who brought this blue one with the crushed, wilted tissue paper.  How could they write down who it was from if there was no name?  If I had just remembered the card they could have quietly read who it was from and then moved on to the next bag. 

Mine ended up being one of the last ones opened.  As she reached for the little blue bag and began looking for the card to see who it was from I had to say, "There is no card in that one!"  I'm sure I turned bright red.  I always do when I am embarrassed.  I mean really, who forgets a card?  Who, besides first graders going to an after school birthday party, gives crushed presents?  Me. That's who. 

Total fail right?  Wrong again!  Sometimes we have days when our best is amazing, when we can get it all done and still look good at the end of the day.  We can have a clean house, an amazing supper cooked for the family, every one where they need to go when they need to be there, be able to shower and put on real clothes, do our hair and make up and have it last all day long and still have energy to play with the kids and help with home work.  We can bake bread for our neighbors and cookies for our kids and put love notes on each of their beds that we made for them before we left for the day.  Other days our best is a crushed present with wilted tissue paper and no card.  Are those days failures?  No. Certainly not.  Thursday I got six kids up and ready for school, packed a lunch for me and snacks for them. I made sure the boys had their football gear in Michael's truck and that everyone had their planners signed and backpacks ready to go.  We left at 7:30 that morning and did not return home until after 8:00 that night.  That day, my best was wilted tissue paper and no card.  It was! And you know what?  It was okay!  She threw the tissue paper away anyways!  The bag and the paper were not the gift.  It was what was inside that was the gift. 

It's the effort that counts, the thought that went into it, the intentions behind it.  Some days all of that will look like a beautifully wrapped gift or a pretty bag overflowing with colorful fluffy tissue paper and attached to a card with a lovely saying that brings a smile to everyone.  But some days it will look like my little blue bag and we will have to stand up and say, "There isn't a card in that one!"

Quiet Tears in the Dark

Lunch time couldn't get here fast enough today.  After four classes of PE and six kids spending a few after class minutes with me, I grabbed my lunch, went into my office and sat in the dark.  I got out my salad only to realize I had not brought a fork.  Not trusting my emotions, I dared not go back into the lounge full of teachers to retrieve a fork, so I sat.  Life overwhelmed me and the tears began to flow.  There was no sobbing, just quiet tears.  I grabbed my phone and began to read some scriptures from my scripture app.  I have been studying faith so I returned to the Topical Guide and continued my studying.

In 1 Timothy 6:10-12 it says:
"For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
But thou, O man of God, flee from these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life,whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses."

Then more tears came - quiet, more intense tears.  The last few days have been kind of hard.  Michael was dealing with all sorts of drama at work.  Drama that had me scared for his well being and safety, and also the safety of me and my children.  Things have calmed down, but there is still a fear in the back of my mind that it has not completely gone away and Michael is not 100% safe yet.  That has caused added stress to the days.

Another stress (a constant stress) is just trying to go day to day and make ends meet.  Life is getting more expensive and some times the stress of getting ends met is impossible.  Medical bills, schooling needs, sports, gas, groceries, etc.  The normal day to day things that everyone faces in some way or the other.  There are days it just becomes so overwhelming.

Pile today's school day on top of that and wow!  I made a mistake that upset one of Makenna's classmates and I had to go apologize to her and explain what had happened so that she didn't think I had purposely tried to do anything.  Then I got to deal with some kids who chose not to listen or participate.  I try to be patient with the kids and realize that they are kids, but I also have to help them understand that they do have expectations to live up to and that there are consequences when they don't do that.  It's hard to find that balance sometimes.

So I sat, in the dark, reading through my tears.  Why did this particular scripture hit me?  Well, just the other night I was talking to Michael, asking him if he ever second guessed moving here.  Things have been tougher than we thought and some days it feels like it is too much.  I have already told about all that we went through when we decided to move here.  The harsh words and warnings spoken still ring loudly in my ears.  When stressful times like this arise, those words are louder and it is hard to hear other things through the ringing. 

As I read this scripture, the ringing stopped and I could feel the words being spoken to me.  Michael and I left a good paying job to come to a lower paying job.  We left so that Michael didn't have to spend his days in a place filled with all sorts of bad things.  We left because we wanted our kids to grow up in a place where they could have horses, play on haystacks and ride their bikes around town with out having to worry about anything but the occasional golf cart driving by.  We left so that our family could be together.  Our family was more important than the money and other things.  We knew that we needed to change things.  When this job was offered we knew that it was what we needed to do.  So we came. 

Life isn't supposed to be easy.  Just because we have challenges doesn't mean that we are doing the wrong thing.  All it means is that life is happening.  It is hard, very hard at times.  We do get bombarded with outside noises and voices telling us differently from what we know.  It's hard to block it out.  It's hard to stop and push those things out so that we can feel the peace that we need.  Today, that scripture helped me do that.  I was able, just for a minute, to push everything out of my mind and feel my Heavenly Father speak to me in my heart.  Through quiet tears in the dark, I was able to find what I needed to pull myself together and finish out the day.

Dillon Turns 9!

Last Sunday, the 1st, we celebrated Dillon's 9th birthday!  He opened presents before church.

 



After church we made chocolate zucchini brownies for his birthday treat (his request) and beef stroganoff for his birthday dinner.

 

It was a quiet day.  We had some sickness in the house over the weekend but it was still a fun day.  We made a fire that evening and enjoyed the cool air and the warm fire.  We took treats to school during the week this week and then he invited a few friends to come over after school Friday for a party.

 

We are so thankful to have Dillon in our lives.  As I have said before on previous birthday posts, he is such a sweet, kind, caring boy.  He has such a soft spirit.  He is very easy going and everyone loves him.  He is quiet and observant.  He loves sports and playing with his friends.  He holds a very special place in his momma's heart and I love him so very much!