Tears of a Child, Prayers of a Child

I know I promised a not so heavy post next time I blogged.  Sorry, I guess I lied :)  However, this really touched me today and I wanted to share it.  This week Monday meant Michael going back to work for two weeks.  When the kids left for school that morning he told them he probably wouldn't see them until Saturday morning.  This is his shift to work nights so he gets home after they go to school and leaves before they get home.  I noticed as the week progressed, my usually happy Dillon came home not so happy.  He was grumpy and seemed quite upset.  I asked him about it yesterday and all he would say is that nothing was wrong with him.  I tried to pry, but got no further.  This morning Michael got home late so he didn't have to clock in until later.  He was able to be home when the kids got home from school.  As soon as Dillon opened the door I could tell that he was still upset.  I said something to him and got the same repsonse.  Michael picked him up and started teasing him which brought giggles.  When Michael left I had the kids start their reading.  Dillon was again upset.  This time I sat down next to him and talked to him until I found out what was bothering him.  He was upset because Michael was gone.  He has mentioned before that he wishes Daddy didn't have to work at nights so he could be home but I have never seen it bother him so much.  Watching the tears roll down his face was so hard.  He holds such a tender place in my heart.  For those of you that know him, you know how sweet he is yet at the same time he is tough and never lets people see him cry - even if it hurts really bad.  To watch him cry hurt me really bad.  We have talked about this job that Michael has applied for and while the kids don't want to move, they all want Michael to be able to be home more.  They know that this job would allow that.  Anyways, tonight Dillon said the family prayer before bed.  In his prayer he asked Heavenly Father to help Daddy with the job in South Dakota.  To me, the prayer of a child can be just as powerful as the tears of a child.  Dillon's tears tore me to the very core, his prayer warmed me to the core.  Partly because I know of his desire to be with Daddy.  Partly because children pray with such faith.  I can't help but believe that our Heavenly Father is affected in the same way.  I know He feels Dillon's pain and I know He hears his prayers.  I know He is aware of Dillon's faith and I know He will respond accordingly.  I'm not saying that this job is going to be the answer to our situation, but I know He does have an answer and He will bless us according to our faith.  I hope that my tears can be as sincere as Dillon's and that my faith can be as pure.

Caution: This is a Downer Blog!

Sorry, but I warned you :)  Sometimes a girl just has to vent and seeing that I was sitting in McDonalds crying today while Olivia played on the playland makes it one of those times.  I will say right up front though despite what I am about to write, I know that my life isn't that bad and that everything will be just fine.  It's just one of those days and so I will blog about it because I can!  I guess I am feeling quite overwhelmed with life right now.  We moved here for better financial stability and an opportunity to be near family again.  We got both.  We have more income than we have ever had.  We've been able to do more than we have ever been able to do.  We have regular visits with family and have gotten to know cousins, aunts and uncles.  It has been great in that respect.  What isn't so great is that in the meantime we have lost time with Michael.  He is gone two out of every three weeks.  I am parenting alone and that gets very hard sometimes.  There are some nights that we have three or four different things going on in different places and I am the one trying to get everyone everywhere and still keep track of the housed, get laundry done and make meals.  I volunteer at school, I sing in the church choir, I am soccer mom, basketball mom, dance mom, scout mom and soon to be baseball and softball mom.  Now I know others do it, but I don't like it!  We moved here with different expectations.  Michael's employer conveniently left out some very important details!  We have now found out that he is soon to be shipped to North Dakota for two weeks at a time.  I hate that thought.  I hate being alone all the time.  I hate our limited time and conversations, I hate that he misses out on so much of the family.  To me, money is not worth it.  I know we need a certain amount to survive, but anything beyond that is not worth it!  I have some that think I am crazy, wimpy, what ever...I am told to stop complaining (I don't usually complain.  Sometimes I talk about our situation to certain others but only because I don't have Michael here to talk about it with).  I try not to be a wimp.  I try to have a good attitude so Michael doesn't feel bad.  Some days though, I break down.  Not while he's here.  I'll admit, we were kind of excited (not sure that's the word but it's the one I am going to use) to move here and try out this new adventure.  We've been here for over a year now and it has not been what we expected.  Bottom line - we miss Sout Dakota.  We miss our friends (me especially.  Finding friends here has not been very successful for me).  We miss our lifestyle.  We miss Michael.  He has applied for a job there and we are hoping that he gets it and that it works out financially for us.  I get so lonely here and overwhelmed.  It gets very frustrating for me.  As I stated above, I know people do it all the time and it is fine.  I know everything will turn out okay.  I know that if we are supposed to stay here, we will and we will make it work ust like we are doing  now.  I know that if we are supposed to go elsewhere then it will work out that way too.  I am very grateful for all that we have been given, I truly am.  I know we were blessed to find this job to get us out of the financial situation we were in.  I know we were blessed to get this job because so many don't have one.  I know we were blessed to find this house for this price and even though it is a fixer-upper, we already have equity in it.  There are so many blessings.  But I have also discovered some of the things in my life that are much more important to me than I realized.  I guess it goes along with the saying "you don't know what you got until it's gone".  I have found that most of the things that are important to me and how I want to raise my family are not here right now and I want them back.  That's basically what it boils down to.  As I said, sorry for the downer.  I promise next blog won't be so heavy :)

Inspiration

I have a sister-in-law/friend who is a total inspiration to me.  I watch her and see all that she does and I am inspired to be a better person.  I won't say her name, although all that know her will know who I am talking about.  I look up to her and hope that I can learn to do the things she does.  She is a mother and a wife to a busy husband.  She is so mindful of those around her.  She serves without being asked.  She doesn't want any recognition for the things that she does.  She gives of her time which for most people that is the hardest form of giving.  She recycles, she home cooks their meals, she is thrifty and good with money, she teaches her children what is important in life, she finds ways to better the world around her, she gardens and cans food, she goes to church and has a strong testimony of the Savior.  She has so much that she could brag about, yet she goes about quietly and humbly, not thinking anything of it and not seeing her greatness.  The more I get to know her, the more I want to do better and be better.  I don't think she knows the effect she has on people (or at least on me).  I am so thankful for her and her example.  I am thankful to be able to get to know her better and I am so thankful she is a part of our family. 

Zeke's Birthday!!

Even with all the excitment of Christmas Zeke could not wait for his birthday to get here!  He was so excited to get to celebrate and turn 6.  We took treats to school to share with his class and I got to eat lunch with him. He got to invite a friend home from school to play, eat pizza and have cake and ice cream.  Michael was working so we celebrated early with him.  We also had an early celebration at Michael's parents' house when we went over Christmas break.  Then we had a late celebration at my parents' house with uncles, an aunt and cousins.  Zeke is totally into dinosaurs now so we had a dinosaur cake and he got stuffed dinosaurs for some of his presents.  He is already counting down the days until he turns 7! 

We are so thankful for Zeke.  He is such a funny kid with a wonderful personality.  He is so aware of things and soaks up all he sees around him.  He loves cowboy boots, fingerless gloves, zebras, dinosaurs, rocks, break dancing and mohawks.  He always has a story to tell, oftentimes added onto by his now 6 year old imagination. We love him so much and are so blessed to have him in our family.

Christmas Solo

For the elementary Christmas concert this year Makenna had the opening solo. Her teacher called me a week or so before the concert and told me to dress her up like a princess and let her shine. We did our best and I thought she looked beautiful.  The day of the concert she was very excited and a little nervous.  I was a little nervous for her too.  She had never done anything like this before and her teacher told me that there would be over a thousand people there.  We got there extra early so we could get a good seat.  The auditorium was packed. The principle came on stage and welcomed everyone and then introduced Makenna.  There were some children on stage in the background dressed up as toys. The lights went down and the spotlight came on Kenna.  She took the micorphone and started singing.

She did an awesome job!  I was so amazed at her!  They turned on a few more lights after she started singing so you could see the toys (children) in the bzckground.  She sang "Take Me Back to Toyland".  At the end ofthe concert all the kids came on satege together and sang the song again.  All the kids did a great job.

 Dillon was part of the train,

 Zeke was a rocking chair,

and Zane just looked good up there singing :)

Maddi also had a concert that week.  She was part of a singing group too.  We dressed her up and curled her hair (she loved that :) haha).  She did a good job too and looked beautiful up there singing.



Temple Square

Early in the month of December we went to Salt Lake City to see all the lights on Temple Square. Michael's mom came and met us there and we all had a great time. Temple Sqaure was beautiful and it sstarted to lightly snow as we walked around and looked at the lights making it all the more beautiful. The kids loved seeing the temple and all the lights and nativitiies. We also got to go into one of the buildings and see the big Christus. At the hotel the girsl got to stay with Grandma and the boys stayed with me and Michael. the next day was spent shopping. The highlight was getting to ride the trolley to the mall and back. We also found a beautiful tree for the background of our family picture. The picture was intended for Christmas cards btInever got them done. At least I have a current picute though! I love the Christmas season - the music, the lights, the excitement of the children and the focus on our Savior. I love to see the season come and hate to see it go. I am thankful we could go and experience the beauty of Temple Square and feel the sprirt of the season.

Michael and Kenna

Zeke  and Olivia. This is one my favorite pictures.

Olivia catching snowflakes.

The Christus

Our family picture.

The Kids in front of the Salt Lake Temple.

Maddi Turns 11!

I know, it's late, but better late than never!  On the 21st of November we celebrated Maddi's 11th birthday.  Michael was working so he wasn't able to be there for it but we still had fun. One of her friends came home with her from school.  We ate supper at McDonalds (her choice) and then came home for chocolate pie and ice cream.  She is such a blessing in our lives.  It is fun to watch her grow and change.  She is turning into quite a little lady despite her efforts to stay a tomboy!  We love her very much and are so blessed to have her in our family.

Dance

In September Olivia and Makenna started dance.  Olivia does tap and ballet.  Makenna does a mix of jazz, lyrical and ballet.  They both have really enjoyed it.  Yesterday they had their first show.  It was at the mall in Rock Springs.  They both did a great job and had a fun time.  Olivia's class did two dances - one tap and one ballet and Makenna did one dance.  They loved getting in their costumes, getting their hair done and their make up on.  The little kids were, of course, adorable.  Makenna's group did a really nice job too.  Here are a few pictrures of them in action.

Makenna before the show

 Olivia before the show

 Zane loving the fact that I drug him to the mall to watch a bunch of girls dance

 Olivia doing tap

 Olivia doing ballet

 Makenna

Makenna

Makenna's 10th Birthday

We celebrated Makenna's 10th birthday on the 15th. We actually did a few celebrations.  We did one with Michael the day before he went back to work since he would be working on her birthday.  Then we did another one on her birthday and we are doing another one today with her friend.  Kenna is a one-of-a-kind girl who is full of excitement and opinions!  She has a fire in her that drives her to compassion and kindness or fireworks and flames.  She has changed me and our family in so many ways.  She is such a blessing and I am so thankful to have her as a daughter.

Isn't she beautiful?

Kenna with her new elephant pillow pet.

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

I just realized how long it had been since I last posted.  Life has been crazy here.  We went awhile with no internet so I couldn't post then.  But even after we got it, I had a hard time finding time to even get on and check my emails.  We finally finished up the main things in the house - kitchen, bedrooms, plumbing, painting, etc. and got all moved in during October.  Maddi and Zane started basketball. Zane, Dillon and Zeke started wrestling. Dillon also did a basketball camp. Makenna and Olivia were still doing dance. We had two primary programs to practice for at church. I also had parent-teacher conferences and weekly time spent in the classrooms volunteering.  Throw in Halloween, friday night football games, scouts, a trip to Idaho, playdates and sleepovers and there has not been much down time.  All of this while trying to unpack and organize.  It has been fun though.  I am in the process of trying to get pictures downloaded so I can post what our life has looked like over the last few months.  I will show you some of our house transformations, cookie making and ballgames.  For now, this will have to do.  Michael has his week off and we are enjoying time with him and getting a few things marked off the to do list.  We are coming off our sugar highs and slowing down some so hopefully I will have more time to keep things updated :)  Until then, have fun and enjoy what life has given you (even if it is a temporary pool in the basement)!