Friday, March 28, 2014

I Love You, My Child

Lately I have been thinking a lot about life - the ups and downs, the joys and sadness, the triumphs and failures.  Life is full of twists and turns.  Some we anticipate, others we don't.  Some we welcome with open arms, some we fight against.  The last few months here have seemed to be filled with sadness for those around me.  Stresses have been high, rough patches have had to be walked through, loved ones have been lost tragically.  This week, alone, two young lives have ended suddenly.  I knew both of them. 

My thoughts go to the families left behind.  As a mother, I can not imagine the pain of losing a child.  I think it would be almost too much to handle.  When Zeke was younger I would have nightmares on a regular basis.  In these nightmares something horrible would happen and I would not be able to help Zeke.  One time he was drowning and I could not get to him.  The nightmares were so real.  In them I would be fighting and doing everything I could to save him but in the end I would not be able to.  I would wake up crying and shaking.  It was horrible!  I had enough of them that I began to be worried that I may in fact lose my little Zeke.  I can't even describe the emotions that I felt and these were just from dreams! I prayed often about it.  I didn't really know what to pray about, but I prayed and told Heavenly Father about my nightmares and the fears that came to me from them.  One morning after having endured one of those nightmares and still being quite unnerved from it, these words came to my heart so I wrote them down:

My precious child so sweet and fair, I gave to you my heart.
But life has take a different road and now we are apart.
What I would give to hold you once more and whisper in your ear,
"I love you, my child.  Don't ever forget that I will always be here."
The pain is overwhelming, unimaginable to most - but there is one -
One who has been through this loss before with His Only Begotten Son.
Our Father in Heaven gave us His Son - a gift given out of pure love.
He suffered, He bled, He died for us, then returned to Heaven above.
He holds me close through all my trials and whispers in my ear,
"I love you, my child.  Don't ever forget that I will always be here."
Through this great gift of Father and Son, I can mend my broken heart.
Though separated now, nothing on earth can keep us apart.
So wait for me, my precious child, help me on my way.
I know I'll be with you again and in my arms you'll stay.
Then I will hold you close once more and whisper in your ear,
"I love you, my child. Don't ever forget that I will always be here."
 
It has been several years since I had one of these dreams and I can talk about them now without so much emotion tied to them.  I can not pretend to know what it really feels like to lose a child and I hope it is something that I don't ever have to understand.  I do know, however, that these family ties that we have here on this earth do not end in death.  I know that does not take away the pain that we feel when we lose a loved one, but it is a blessing to know that this separation is only temporary.  Those that we have lost in this life are still with us.  They are watching for us, cheering us on and waiting for us to come home.  We will, one day, be able to hold them again.  

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