One classmate lost his grandmother to a heart attack, we lost a friend to cancer and some of the faculty lost a dear friend to a sad tragedy. Hearts were broken, lives were shattered and my messed up schedule became a walk in the park compared to the pain that others were going through. It was hard to watch those I cared about go through this pain. I'm not good with words and emotional stuff so I didn't really know what to say and I struggled with how I could help them. My thoughts turned inward as my mind raced with different emotions. Some of their struggles hit home in ways that I did not expect and others were not and are not aware of. So my mind raced and my heart ached.
Things kind of all came out Tuesday after school and I left with a very heavy heart. Again, emotions were stirred in ways that I didn't expect as I listened to others talk about their struggles. So much of what was said hit home because they were things that I had experienced and gone through in one way or other.
Wednesday I woke with the song "How Great Thou Art" in my head. The words somehow helped me understand and organize my thoughts. Last night and this morning I tried to write them all down - the song with my thoughts. It may have no meaning to anyone else, but I am going to share it anyways because it does for me. As I wrote, my mind and heart were filled with thoughts of my friends that were going through so much this week. I saw their eyes filled with tears, heard their words of sadness and watched them grieve. I also saw them hug each other, comfort each other and lift each other up. It was an amazing week in so many ways. Amazing in the fact that life can change so quickly and so tragically. Amazing in the fact that these friends care so much about each other that even though they are grieving they still reach out to help those around them. Amazing in the fact that we all find out that we are stronger than we think and if through these trials and struggles we keep our faith in God we can make it through.
So here are the words that I felt as the words to "How Great Thou Art" played in my mind over and over:
Oh Lord, my God,
Please hear me as I cry
When I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
Hold my trembling hand in Thine as my world crumbles all around me.
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Whisper peace and comfort to my aching heart and soul
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Lift me from this darkness and help me feel Thy warmth
When through the woods and forest glades I wander,
Lead me through the thorny paths to safety in Thine arms
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
Let me hear Thy soothing words of love and understanding
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
Look down on me from Heaven above
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze
Wash me free from this grief and pain.
And when I think of God, His Son not sparing
Fill me with this love so constant and unchanging
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
Oh Lord, my God, I feel Thee ever near me
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
This path I walk, was walked before by Thee
He bled and died to take away my sin.
Thy blood was spilt to make me whole, Thy suffering to keep me clean
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
Thy perfect light brings freedom from my dark abyss
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
I look to Thee and gladness overcomes me
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
Then to my knees I fall in gratitude and humility
And there proclaim; "My God, ho great Thou art."
No words express my true emotion, tears stream down my face.
Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee
I know that for me You came, You suffered, and You died!
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
You felt my pain and sorrows, You felt my sins and grief.
The sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee,
You did for me the things I could not do myself,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
With eyes toward Heaven and heart now free I, too, sing;
"How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"