Saturday, February 23, 2013

Do You Ever...?

Do you ever have one of those days where you look around you and wonder what you are doing and if you are needed?  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I feel like I am in slow motion while those around me are doing important things with their lives and moving forward in a positive direction.  I see friends getting new jobs, earning degrees, getting fit, going to fun and exciting places, doing fun and creative things with their families and for their homes, helping their communities, etc.  And I wonder, what am I doing?  Where am I going?  What is my importance?  Would I even be missed if I was gone?  Would anyone even notice?  It's not that I am not happy for these friends - I am.  I think it's great to see them succeed and enjoy the things life has given them.  I just wonder, what am I?  I am 38 years old.  I am a mother of 6.  I have 50 extra pounds and lots of stretch marks I carry around to prove that I gave birth to all 6 :) I have started substitute teaching.  I have helped coach cross country and 5th grade basketball.  But what am I?  There are so many things that I have wanted to do but circumstances in life have gotten in the way.  What is my importance? 

I guess there are days when it feels like life is passing me by and maybe I have missed something.  I see what others have accomplished and I haven't.  I see what others do everyday and I can't do the same.  Some days I just feel so frumpy and unimportant!  The last few days have been hard that way.  Even if I get my "nice" clothes on, do my hair and put on my makeup I still feel like less of a person as I wander around through my day.  Eventually I pull out of it and most of the time I am ok with myself, but occasionally I get down and wonder about my individual importance.

Why do I blog about this?  I'll tell you.  When I was first married, I lived in the area that my husband grew up in.  There were all these wealthy farmers with these perfect wives.  They had beautiful homes, perfect families, clothes that weren't wrinkled or spit up on.  They just seemed perfect in every way.  As a young wife and mother, this is what I had to compare myself to.  With three children under the age of three I was always a mess!  My house was small and covered in toys and baby items, my clothes were always wrinkled and covered with some sort of baby bodily fluid, my hair was lucky to get combed and I was always ragged and tired.  One day I went with one of the ladies to visit one of these "perfect" women.  When we got to her house, she answered the door and she had forgotten we were coming.  We went inside and her living room was covered with laundry, her clothes didn't match, her hair wasn't done and she had on no make up!  I will tell you, this was one of the happiest days of my life!  This woman, who I had pegged as perfect, looked just like I felt and her house looked very similar to mine - she just had clothes instead of toys.  I realized that she was not perfect!  I realized that I was not as bad as I thought I was.  Here I was trying to pretend I was perfect worried that if anyone ever found out I wasn't I would somehow not be able to go on being a wife and mother :)

From that day on I decided that I was going to let people know I had faults (as if they didn't already know that).  I realized that maybe some one was watching me thinking the same thing that I had thought of these ladies (yeah right!) and putting herself down because she didn't think she would ever measure up.  We are given our life experiences, strengths and weaknesses, to help those around us.  If we never let people know of them, we can never be of help to them.

What does this have to do with me being in a slump?  Well, there may be other people who feel the same as I do.  Maybe feeling that way makes them wonder if they are less of a person.  By me telling the world that sometimes I feel like this, maybe it helps calm their troubles knowing that they are not the only ones.  I know what it feels like to be down and feel rather worthless and invisible.  I know what it feels like to be compared to others and to compare myself to others.  It hurts.  But knowing I am not alone helps.  And seeing that those I hold up and revere have those same feelings helps me not feel so inadequate and different. 

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Ice Skating

Some friends of ours invited us to go ice skating at their neighbors house the other day.  Every winter they turn one of their sheds into an ice skating rink.  Over the years they have collected skates of all different sizes so you don't even have to bring your own.  They do it just for people to be able to enjoy.  It's nice because it is indoors so you are protected from the wind and weather.  They also have collected hockey sticks and pucks so you can enjoy a game of hockey.  They have a few pairs of double bladed skates for the little kids and they also have chairs that the little kids can push around to help give them balance.  Anyways, it was really fun!  There were about 18 kids there and 6 adults.

Zeke was probably the most fun to watch.  He would go forwards.
 
And backwards...
 
And forwards again...
 
Then all the way down...

 
He always jumped back up though and kept going!  Michael also put skates on for the first time in his life!  He gave Olivia a push in the chair

 

and she gave him a ride too (or at least tried)!
 
Dillon and Maddi gave hockey a try and had fun trying to keep the puck away from Michael.

 
Zane had fun giving it a try too but preferred playing outside on the big snow piles! For some reason his picture won't download though.  Makenna was also there but managed to somehow not be in any of the pictures! 
 
It was a fun afternoon.  I love when we can have time spent with good friends.  There's nothing better than fun times, good conversation and laughter!



Friday, February 15, 2013

Buddies and Ballgames

These last few months have been spent going from game to game and practice to practice.  It has been a lot of fun, especially for the kids.  They a have enjoyed all the time they have gotten to spend with their friends.  It has been a great way for them to get to know the kids in their class better and build friendships with them.  Last night we got to spend the evening with the 3rd grade boys team and a few other friends.  There were moments of craziness but overall it was a fun evening! 

The kids had an early out from school.  Dillon had practice right after school.  His coach had gotten all the boys tickets to the SDSU basketball game for that night.  Michael and I decided that we would go along to help and bring the rest of our kids.  They had been wanting to go to a game.  So I met them there after practice and we took three car loads of kids to Brookings.  We had supper at McDonalds (I don't think they knew quite what to think when we all came walking in). After that we headed to the Frost Arena.  There were many, many trips to the bathrooms and concession stands, several spilled popcorns, a few caught towels from the big cannon they shoot and all of us on the big camera.  The kids seemed to really have fun and to top it off SDSU won!

Zeke was excited because his best 6 th grade buddy (according to him) ended up coming.  He also had his best 1st grade buddy there.
Poor Colby was a good sport and sat next to Zeke the entire game :)
 
We tried to get a picture with the JackRabbit after the game but I think 10 crazy boys running towards him scared him off so we didn't get one!
 
I didn't have my real camera with  me and my phone doesn't take good pictures but you get the idea!
 
Anyways, it was a fun time!  What better way to spend the evening than watching basketball with friends :)