Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Hurting...

I am not perfect although perfection is my goal.  I will never reach it in this life but I hope to live good enough to reach it in the next life.  I will say this though, I try to always do what is right.  Sometimes it is hard.  Sometimes it is painful.  I don't just do things to do them.  I try to pray and study and think things through.  I know I will always fall short in the eyes of some.  I always have and it seems I always will.  To those I want to say this.  You hurt me.  You break my heart.  You know me better than that yet you give me no credit.  Tonight I am hurting.  I am sorry for falling short in your eyes.  I am not, however, sorry for the choices I have made.  I believe with all my heart that what I am doing and the choices I am making are the right ones.  My desires are righteous.  My heart is good.  My intentions are not evil.  I will continue on in faith despite the hurt that I feel, because beneath the hurt I still feel peace in my choices.  No one can say what our Heavenly Father has in store for us.  No one can say what His time frame is.  No one knows what lies in wait for us.  No one can take away the things that I have felt and the knowledge that I have.  I hope that some day you will be able to see me for who I really am.  I hope that you will be able to see into my heart and past the physical body that holds it.  I hope you will understand how desperately I need your love, but also understand that I can't always do what you want me to do to earn it.

2 comments:

A Wilson said...

Emma,
I wish I could just give you a big hug. I think you are amazing. I wish you could see all the good you do and the blessing you are to others wherever you go. I know it has been tough for you lately but you will be blessed to look back and know you did the right thing. Keep smiling and your chin up. You are such a beautiful person, I feel so blessed to have you for my friend. Thank you for all you do . I love you and your family , I feel like you are part of my family. I am praying that things work out well for you. Love ya, Karla

Emma said...

Thank you Karla! YOu mean the world to me. I am so blessed to have you as a friend! Can't wait to see you again!