Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Overload!!

I have been second guessed, doubted, questioned and told to suck it up and get over it. Well, I don't appreciate it! First of all, Michael and I will do what is best for our family! Meaning me, him and our children! We are capable parents with the ability to make decisions! We won't do anything for selfish reasons. We won't make any rash decisions! We will make our decision through study, prayer and discussion. I would like credit for the ability to be a parent! Sorry, just had to get that off my chest! I would like for any one who thinks that I am a wimp or a baby or a whiner to do what I am doing! I would like for them to take their six kids, the oldest being 11, and raise them while their father is off working for two thirds of the year. I would like for them to try to console a crying four year old at night as she goes to bed missing her Daddy. I would like for them to hold their 11 year old daughter as she sobs because it is hard when Daddy's gone and listen as she tells you that she cries herself to sleep at night because she misses him. I would like for you to deal with an 8 year old son who acts out because of all the changes that are involved with daddy being gone for two weeks at a time. I would like for you to talk to your 7 year old son, who didn't even cry with a broken nose, as he sits behind the couch with tears rolling down his face because he misses daddy. I would like for you to spend your days running children all over the place trying to be at everything for everyone even though it is impossible. I would like for you to see your 10 year old daughter's face when she finds out that daddy won't be there to see her in her first play. I would like for you to spray daddy's cologne on your 6 year olds favorite stuffed animal so he doesn't miss daddy so much at nights. I would like for you to be everything and do everything for everyone all the while trying to cope with the fact that you are alone. There is no one to help. No one to takeover when you are tired or sick. No one to help when a child is out of control. No one to take the pressure off when things are hard. No one to share the happy things and triumphs with. No one to fix the bathtub or the computer. Youngo to bed alone at night and you wake up alone in the morning. That's what I go through two out of every three weeks. And I'm a wimp? Because I express my dislike for the situation I need to suck it up? I normally just keep things to myself. I don't like confrontation or negative things. I just keep it to myself and go on with life. This time, however, I just want to say - if this is what you think of me YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!! And I want to say one other thing. Money, as necessary as it is, is not worth this! I would rather be dirt poor and have my husband home with his family than to have the money that he makes being away. My children feel the same way. They have told me and from the tears that they have shed, I believe them 100%. I am on overload right now and not just because of the added responsibilities that I have while Michael is gone. But because of the lack of understanding and caring from those who should be doing both.

1 comment:

DeAnn said...

Oh Emma!!!! I had no idea that people were saying those kinds of things to you. And as I have said before, I have done two 6-month stints without my husband, and it is NOT FUN. It is hard, lonely and A LOT OF WORK. And I only have four kids. Girl, as soon as I get on antibiotics and won't get you sick, lets do lunch, or something. Please! Even if I drop of my oldest girls to babysit, we need to get you a break! YOU ARE A SUPERWOMAN!!! DO NOT FORGET IT!