Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Am I Strong Enough?

Yes and sorry, this is another post about the job situation.  I promise someday my blogs will be fun again and filled with all of our family events.  Right now though, this is what our family is dealing with and this is what is in the forefront of our minds and the topic of most conversations.  Anyways, after talking to several people yesterday and another today, I feel better about the town of Alliance.  I think I mentioned that yesterday.  The people were very friendly and helpful and loved the town.  However, it brought a new question to my mind.  Am I strong enough?  During the conversations things like single parenting, living with your phone, giving up family time and a hard four or five years were mentioned.  The one that got me the most though, was from a lady whose husband had retired a few years ago from the railroad.  She said that it takes a strong woman.  I have to be strong enough to raise the family and hold things together while Michael is out earning the money.  I have to be understanding and strong willed.  It is not for the weak and faint of heart.  I have to admit, I'm not sure that I am that person that she said I would have to be.  It makes me nervous that I will be the one not able to handle our new situation if in fact we go to the railroad.  Am I strong enough?  I don't want to be a single parent.  I don't want my life to be determined by the next phone call.  I hope that if we end up there, I can be that person, but I have doubts and worries.  Once again, we will be required to act on faith.  Faith that Heavenly Father knows better than we do and that He will give us the strength to be what we don't think we can be.  I will have to be strong not only for the children, but also for Michael.  He will need assurance that all is well at home.  I hope that Heavenly Father will come to my rescue and raise me up to where I need to be so that I can be to my family who they need me to be.


Marty said...

You WILL be strong enough. It's hard being in a new place and not knowing when your husband will be home next. I'm just glad that mine is only gone here and there and for only a few nights at a time.
I just tell myself that it could be worse and he could be deployed like some friends and family. I found it more difficult to have them come home and mess up my routine.
I wish you much luck and you'll end up where you're suppose to be!

Melissa said...

I understand how you're feeling! It's a hard choice to make, knowing that the job is great and would benifet your family, yet that means him leaving! The Lord will surely bless you Emma, and give you the strength you need to get through the times when he's gone :)

Spencer and Kimberly said...

Heavenly Father knows you. If that's where you guys end up, then He knows you can do it. Take that and run with it as a great compliment! Besides, you're super mom, you can do anything!

Emma said...

Thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to me and gives me a little more faith in myself :)