Thursday, February 19, 2009
Little Voice Inside Your Head
Lately I have become aware of several of my shortcomings (I've known about them forever, I'm just more aware of them now). I have decided that I really need to focus on these shortcomings and overcome them. See, I have this perception of what I should be and when I fall short of that I lose patience with myself. That in turn, affects my family (children mostly) because then I am shorter on patience with them. It's really not their fault, it's mine, but they end up feeling the frustration that I feel. Anyways, I've decided that I really need to work on this and show my children more love and patience. Now I have this little voice in my head - no I don't actually hear a voice, but I certainly have strong thoughts. Every time I get on the kids for being short on patience or being grumpy, this little voice reminds me that they are probably doing it to each other because I have done it to one of them. It's like this constant reminder. Sometimes I appreciate it, but other times I wish it would go away. It has however, helped me realize how much I do need to change. Now in case any of you are worried about the welfare of my children, don't be. They are fine. It's not like I am constantly ripping them apart or putting them down, I am just realizing even more how much my actions form them. I see them doing to each other what they perceive me doing. I have realized how careful I need to be in my speech and actions, my voice tone, everything, because they are watching, learning and mimicking. When they feel my lack of patience or frustration, they take it in and then unload in a similar manner. As a result, I am learning to embrace the little voice inside my head and listen when it speaks.