Thursday, December 18, 2008
A few months ago, I made an entry about life and how things can change so quickly. It seemed everything we had been planning for was ripped right out of our hands just as we were supposed to be receiving it. Since then we have been looking for answers and a way to move on. Answers haven't necessarily come, but very unexpected blessing have been given to us. We were still able to meet our goals despite the loss of Michael's bonus and raise. We have been able to sit down and do a budget so we can continue on our financial path with success. Things have still been frustrating, some days more than others. We have spent several months now waiting and wondering what was going to happen next. I don't do well with the unknown so this has been extremely hard for me. This started at the beginning of October and now Christmas is upon us. We have spent the last few months looking for jobs, hoping for opportunities and trying to make the best of what we were dealing with. We were surrounded by good friends and family that supported us and helped us. Without them we would not have made it as well as we did. Still there were times when I wondered why. I wondered where Heavenly Father was in all of this and when He was going to let us in on His plan. There were days I felt forgotten and wondered what I was doing wrong. Well, I've had some time to think about things and I've had some wonderful things happen to me over the last month that have opened my eyes to the fact that I am not alone. Little things, have brought knowledge to me that even though I still don't know what is in store for us, Heavenly Father has not left us. As a family, we have been blessed. We have faced a lot of sickness this season, but nothing has been too serious. Zeke went to the hospital, but he came home quickly. Another little kid has been in the hospital since Thanksgiving and won't be home for Christmas. She had the same thing Zeke had, but she got in worse shape than him. That is huge to me. There have been little manifestations to me as well. Ones that wouldn't have meaning to anyone but me, but through them I have been able to feel Heavenly Father's presence. I still don't know why things happen the way that they do, I still struggle with the unknown, but I am very grateful for the blessings that we have.