Friday, October 10, 2008


Have you ever had moments in your life when you just walk around wondering what just happened? That's how I have been feeling the last few days. Wednesday Michael came home with some not so good news. It came as a shock and a huge let down. All that we have been working for seems all of the sudden so out of reach. We were so close to our goals and now it seems everything has been taken away from us. I have been walking around in a daze wondering what just happened, why it happened and what we are saupposed to do now. I don't know how to feel. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm depressed, I'm very tired. I want to have faith and trust and feel reassurance but it all seems very slow coming. If I didn't have children and responsibilities, I would probably just curl up in a ball and stay there for days. I kow it sounds like drama, and it probably is, but right now it's real drama. Of course everything in life happens for a reason and we don't know what's in store for us, but the wondering and struggles in the meantime are very overwhelming. I'm sure things will settle down soon and we will all be all right. I just react emotionally. Why do people have to be so selfish? Why do they have to break their promises? I sure hope a change of heart happens and maybe all of this will go away. In the meantime, remember to be honest and kind. Look for those who need a smile and be aware of how much your actions affect those around you. We can spread good in this world or we can spread sadness. Even if we have been wronged, let's spread the good and see if it will help erase the sadness we sometimes feel in our own hearts. So to all of you who read this, I love you. You mean so much to me. All of you that I have invited to read this blog, have touched my life in many positive ways. Your love has changed our lives and continues to change it. Thank you for all you do.


Katie said...

Love you Emma.

Jessica said...

My Mom always quotes President Hinkley to me:
"Don't worry it will all work out"

Usually in the heat of the moment it only makes me more angry and I cry a little big harder that someone would say that but not really have any hard proof or evidence otherwise. I don't know how to tell you that it will all work out the way YOU want it to because truthfully it usually doesn't. But I know what wonderful people you and Michael are, and how highly my dad speaks of you both. I was around you for such a short time yet I find myself saying all the time "What would Emma do, how would she get this 19 month old to eat his vegetables? Stop throwing a tantrum? Stay in his bed?" Then something I observed you doing at church or in your own home will come to me and then you know what? It does, it all works out. You are in my prayers!

Monica said...

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes (granted, it is the week before you know what, and it doesn't take much to make me cry these days). You have meant so much to me, and it really makes me sad to hear that you are not where you want to be. Hang in there.

Spencer and Kimberly said...

I'm sorry things are rough. I hope things turn around and work out after all! We'll keep you in our prayers!